Two Perfect Waves in the Night
by nubianamy
Summary: Mike, Tina and Artie pretend to be in a relationship in order to support their friends Kurt, Puck and Finn - until the relationship becomes unexpectedly more. Martina (Mike/Artie/Tina), background P(F)uckurt. Sequel to We Might As Well Close Our Eyes, but can be read alone. Cowritten with gala apples for the Polyamory Big Bang.
1. Mike

Title: Two Perfect Waves in the Night

Authors: gala_apples and nubianamy

Rating: explicit (m/m/f sexual exploration, discussions of sex, poly negotiations, anti-poly sentiments, casual pot smoking, teen angst)

Relationships/Characters: Mike/Artie/Tina, Artie's mom, male OC, Matt Rutherford, Puck/Finn/Kurt

Spoilers: through season 1; set during the summer between seasons 1 and 2. Mike is a sophomore; Artie and Tina are freshmen. Follows We Might As Well Close Our Eyes (Puck/Kurt/Finn), but can be read alone.

Summary:

Mike's spent his life trying to avoid disappointing parental figures. That's why, when Finn comes clean about dating Kurt and Puck, and Mr Schuester gets mad at him, Mike's first instinct is to say he's dating two people too. If he can spread out the disapproval, it'll be less painful for Finn, who idolizes Mr Schue.

What he's not expecting is for his fake boyfriend Artie to take him on a date, outside of school hours. What he's not expecting is for his fake girlfriend Tina to think the three of them should have sex together. What he's not expecting is for his fake relationship to turn out to be one of the most significant things he's ever done.

From there it's a matter of instinct. Tell Puck, who has a hundred and one ideas about what to do in bed. Don't tell his best friend, who thinks sex is the price you pay for a spouse and kids. Drink a smoothie with Artie's mom. Throw himself out of a window before his mom can ask him if he's still single. Because if there's one thing Mike's learned in his time in Glee club, it's that even if everyone has an opinion, only a select few really matter.

* * *

_(excerpt from We Might As Well Close Our Eyes)_

_"We'll do it," Mike said abruptly._

_Puck shook his head as if that would make Mike's few words make more sense. When things didn't suddenly become clear he asked, "What?"_

_"I'll tell Mr Schue that I'm dating one of the couples. Artie and Tina, or Matt and Santana. Or I guess since Santana's not really monogamous and it won't have as much impact, maybe Matt and some random Cheerio? And I'll ask him if he believes certain passages of The Ethical Slut would work in our situation, and read them out loud. Obviously he won't at first, but he'll have to think about why he doesn't. Hopefully he'll realise that his arguments are baseless."_

_Matt shook his head. "Man, sometimes I forget you're in debate club and on the Brainiacs."_

_"What the shit is a Brainiac?"_

_Brittany rested her head on Santana's shoulder. "You know. One of them is a genius, the other is insane."_

_"Brainiacs, not Animaniacs. Me and Artie and Liz Schneider are all on the team. We've talked about it like ten times, how do you keep forgetting?"_

_Finn tilted his head. "Wouldn't you feel bad lying for us? It's, like, as bad as my I'm not in love with two people thing?"_

_Mike shrugged eloquently. "There's what, a month and a half of school left? If Tina and Artie don't care that I'm pretending to date them, then I don't care about not actually dating for that long. I'll be busy choreographing us for Nationals anyway, as soon as we win Regionals. We'll 'break up' over the summer."_

_Tina shrugged and dropped her hand on Artie's shoulder. "I don't mind if you don't."_

_"I've always felt that points are best made with examples. Hence my trying to find films. No kissing on the mouth, Chang."_

_Puck had no words for several long moments. He shook his head. "You guys would do that for us?"_

_"Glee's family, dumbass." Santana snapped._

_"Except when it's not," Matt added. "Because otherwise we're highly incestuous."_

* * *

_Chapter 1: Mike_

"Can you believe my mom packed shrimp shumai in my lunch today?" Jordan rolled his eyes, leaning against the locker next to Mike's. "I keep telling her just to buy Gogurts and I'll make my own sandwiches, but it's not working. It's like she's committed to being the Super Asian mom. Anyway, I hate shrimp; you're going to have to trade with me."

"Sorry," said Mike, shaking his head. "Can't have lunch with you today."

"Super secret emergency Regionals thing? You know your Brainiacs thing takes up way less time, and doesn't piss off your parents. Next year you should ditch Glee and just do Brainiacs."

Mike sighed. "There are, like, fifteen things wrong with that statement, starting with Glee would only piss off my parents if they were aware I was wasting my time with it. What they don't know doesn't hurt them. And don't jinx us with no club next year. If we don't move on to Nationals, the New Directions is disbanded."

Jordan wrinkled his nose. "What kind of shit teacher threatens his kids like that?"

"Delightful psychopaths who go by the name of Sue Sylvester," Mike replied, tacking on a huge fake grin. Her madness was the reason he'd refrained from dancing in public until Puck recruited him to Glee. He would never risk trying out for the Cheerios; it would mean having to deal with her personally. "She hasn't pushed anyone down the stairs in a few days."

Jordan snorted. "Pretty high bar we set for teachers."

"Anyway, the 'super secret Regionals meeting' is at Mr Schue's house later. I think we're getting pizza too. Lunch is about eating with Artie and Tina."

Jordan laughed, because Jordan was the kind of guy who always found humour in other people trying their earnest best. A classic example was when his sister forced him to watch Ms America; it was fifty percent hot women in bathing suits, and fifty percent cracking up at all the 'If I ruled I'd irrigate crops in places for food' bullshit. He'd had a complete meltdown at finding out that Mike had promised to pretend to date two freshmen at once to get Mr Schue off Puck and Kurt and Finn's backs.

Mike gave him a weary glare. "Shut up, man."

"Sorry, sorry. It's just great." Jordan stifled his snickering. "Are you going to carry Artie's books next?"

"Look, I don't have a choice. Mr Schue's the lunch monitor. I have to eat with them in case he does a scan for his favourite students to make sure we're not being slushied or whatever."

Jordan leered at him. "I'll give you twenty bucks if you hand-feed Tina."

Mike shoved him lightly. "You're a fuckin' freak, dude. At least I have someone I _could _hand-feed. She'd totally let me, if I wanted to."

Jordan's voice turned a bit more serious. "Maybe she would. Doesn't mean her actual boyfriend would like that. One thing you don't need to do is think this is more serious than it is. It's an act, remember? First day of summer break, you're off the hook."

Mike knew that. He wasn't stupid. He'd made the offer to help his friends, and Artie and Tina had signed on to help in just the same way. He wasn't really anything to them. Even if Tina actually did let him touch her sometimes, it was just more evidence that she was an affectionate person.

"Do you think Tina would want my shumai?" Jordan asked.

Mike glared at him. "I think three is enough in one relationship, don't you?"

"Just an idea," he said easily. "How do you even know that Schue's the lunch teacher today? Are you monitoring _his_ every movement? Do you like, have surveillance set up?"

"No."

"Did you pay Zizes to do it?" Jordan steamrolled on, ignoring Mike's irritation. "Because I bet she would, for like, five bags of Canadian ketchup chips, or something else ridiculously hard to get. You know when Boyd was trying to see if Candace was getting better marks than him because she was taking Ritalin, Zizes charged him two trays of nanaimo bars?"

"That was a stupid deal. Candace gets a hundred percent in every class. She's clearly on Ritalin."

"Or maybe she's just super Asian," Jordan laughed. "But seriously, it's like I'm just randomly talking to you and all of a sudden you're halfway down the hall, with your hands around Artie's wheelchair handles all suggestively, like you're a zipper away from a handjob, and I look in the other direction and there's Schuester. How do you _do _it?"

Mike rolled his eyes. "I get more than three hours of sleep a night, so I actually notice the things that are happening around me? Whatever. It's important. Since we started, Schue's had to split his sideeyeing over two triad couples instead of concentrating on them. Finn's the New Directions captain. You weren't there the whole time the three of them were trying to get their shit together; it was awful, for all of us. We can't afford for Finn to get depressed just because Schue's not open-minded. We need him. Even if you don't give two shits about the three of them, consider it payment towards keeping New Directions alive."

"Yeah, yeah," Jordan said. "I know you'll pout like a bitch if you can't be in Glee club next year. Not my thing, but I wouldn't want you to be pouting your way through junior year." He gave a little half-wave. "See you after school. I'll save my shumai for you."

Tina and Artie were sitting at the end of the table where Kurt and Mercedes usually ate with them, but today they were alone. Artie gave Mike a brave smile as he set his lunch tray across from Tina.

"Schue's talking to Finn. You're off the hook for now. Tina, can I get a ride with your mom tonight to the meeting? My mom has tennis until six-thirty."

Tina's smile for Mike was brief and warm. She reached an intentional hand across the table and touched his knuckles with her fingertips. Mike glanced at Artie before taking her hand and holding it loosely. He still wasn't sure how really okay this whole thing was, or how far to take it in front of everybody. Britt had always been the one to initiate PDA, when they'd been kind-of dating, and he'd gone along with it as long as nobody seemed to mind, but this was different.

Not to mention there was another hand to hold. Mike rested his, palm-up, on the table. It was close enough to Artie that Artie could take it if he wanted to, but if he chose not to, it wouldn't look weird.

It felt a little strange to be playing this game with Tina and Artie, in particular because they didn't have all the information. Mike suspected they both assumed they were pretend-dating friendly, straight-but-not-narrow Mike Chang. Whereas in reality, holding another guy's hand had layers of meaning that Mike wasn't sure he was ready to reveal to two people who were only his pretend-boyfriend and pretend-girlfriend. Holding hands with a guy might mean something a lot more to him, someday. The fact that this one was nothing but a practice setup didn't change the fact that Mike actually _wanted_ to hold another guy's hand - and to do a lot more than that.

But Artie did take his hand, anyway, in time for Schue to turn around and see them do it, and it wasn't _too_ weird.

"How are you getting to Schue's?" Artie asked him.

Mike shrugged. "Bike, like always. Unless I can weasel a ride out of Matt?"

"That would be hard?"

"He's kind of super sensitive about being used for rides. Apparently there's some huge family rift about the uncle that only talks to his dad when he needs help moving his start up businesses."

Artie looked hopeful. "You think I could play the poor-disabled-kid card? Otherwise I'll have to call the city bus for a ride, and it smells like wet feet."

Mike grinned. "We haul your ass down the April Rhodes stairs multiple times a week. The disabled kid card's a pretty good play."

Artie's eyes got scary-big behind his glasses, like an anime Oliver Twist, and he put on a pleading little pout that had Tina snorting into her milk. Then he squeezed Mike's hand once before letting it go, and smiled. "Worth a try."


	2. Tina

_Chapter 2: Tina_

Tina had entered the Regionals song selection meeting with low hopes. She'd known that thanks to Sylvester being one of the judges they'd be fucked regardless of what songs they'd pick. She'd just hoped that maybe they'd make it out still friends. Before Glee she'd only had two friends on Facebook (her parents). Even the rest of Lima's Asian community had turned down her requests, or maybe they'd just been too suspicious of social networking to take the plunge.

And now... now she actually had something to lose, if Glee got cancelled. And apparently, she _was_ going to lose it, because when Mercedes shot down Finn's optimism like an arrow through a blimp, Puck had seconded her. There was no more firmer proof that the jocks and nerds would cleave back into two groups if they lost Glee. It was enough to make her want to cry.

She wasn't scared to burst into tears in front of them. She knew her boyfriend, at least, would stick by her. But it was Mike's hand she felt on her back, comforting her, and that was more than a little surprising. Mike had never been particularly touchy-feely.

"I'm sorry," she said, wiping her eyes on the heel of her hand. Artie passed her his handkerchief.

"Don't worry about it, baby," he reassured her. "We can go, if you want to."

She blew her nose. "No, no... I want to stay." But by the time the meeting was over, Tina was still struggling to deal with the feelings left behind.

Mike crouched down next to her, looking concerned. "You want to go somewhere? We can, I don't know, talk. Whatever." He looked over at Artie. "Someplace accessible?"

"I'd be up for that," Artie agreed.

They split into the typical groupings outside Schue's apartment. Mercedes and Quinn went back to Mercedes' house; Finn and Kurt returned to their shared basement. Rachel went home alone, both her dads in the car, probably ready to spoil her back into happiness. The only surprise was Puck, who followed Matt and Santana and Brittany instead of his boyfriends. Tina guessed they were going to drink themselves stupid somewhere, and ever since that time with April, Kurt didn't really drink. Frankly, Tina would have been happy to drown her sorrows, too, but she already keenly felt the divide between their relative popularity and her utter lack of it. Starting next week, and maybe for the rest of high school, she was going to have to deal with that; she didn't need to start prematurely.

Matt agreed to drop them off at Schoonover Park before following Santana and Britt. "Call me if you need a ride home," he said, but Artie waved him on.

"My mom said she can come get me. Thanks."

Mike wheeled Artie's chair along the sidewalk to the far side of the lake, where the ducks were congregating along the shore. They found a quiet bench near the shore and sat together, Tina in the center.

"Do you want...?" Artie trailed off, but waved something that looked a lot like a joint. Mike's eyes widened.

"Is that - ?"

"Yeah. There's this amputee at my physical therapy group, he gets it medically. Or illegally, I dunno, but it's for the pain. He's my source. I usually smoke it when I'm having director's block, but this is a special occasion."

Mike stared at the thin white object. "And by special you mean miserable?"

"Look, you don't have to have any. I'm just saying right now the world sucks almost as hard as it does when I can't envision my next scene, and I want some."

"I do, too," Tina added, surprising Mike. She was a little surprised at herself, actually, but her resolve hardened when she saw his incredulous expression. "Come on. It'll help."

"Uh. Okay, I guess." He wrinkled his nose. "I've never smoked anything before, though, so you're going to have to show me what to do."

"Have you smoked a cigarette before?" Artie asked.

Tina knew the answer would be no before Mike started to explain himself. "It's not like I'm one of those straight-edge assholes that goes around with squirt guns putting out smokers' cigarettes. It's just there would be hell to pay if I ever smelled like it."

Artie didn't say anything rude. He simply pulled a lighter out of the same place that he'd gotten the joint from. "So you want to just pinch the edge of the joint between your lips. The further you go the more slobber there is. It's not so much that it's gross, it's that it makes it harder to keep smoking when it gets shorter, if it's wet." Artie demonstrated, and lit the end of the joint on fire. Tina watched his cheeks. She could see him inhaling for about fifteen seconds, and then his chest stilling as he held it in. He exhaled and continued his instructions. "It's not like cigs, where you just want to roll the taste around in your mouth. The point of smoking pot is to get it in your lungs. So suck in your mouthful, as much as you think you can hold, and then hold it. You'll want to cough. Hell, you _will_ cough. Just put it off as long as possible, for the best effect."

Artie leaned far to the side to pass the joint to Mike, who took it gingerly. He inhaled less, and a lot harder, his cheeks getting artificial dimples. Sure enough, he exhaled with a cough about five seconds later.

"That tasted less like grass than I thought it would," he said after he regained control of his lungs, "and a lot more like dirt."

Artie grinned. "You get to liking it. Different variances have different tastes. Smells too. That's actually why I think Cillian might not be smoking medically. If it was medical he'd be on the same strain the whole time, but I usually get different kinds every month."

Tina took the joint next, glad to get a turn. She'd only tried it a few times before, thanks to a cool older cousin on her dad's side of the family, but she knew enough to know she liked it. Actually, Shannon had been her first access to non-age appropriate video games and porn too, and Tina was pretty sure that went for everyone in the family. Shannon got off on being the black sheep, in a way that Tina couldn't quite emulate. She wanted to be herself, but she still wanted people to like her, while Shannon just didn't give a shit one way or the other. Shannon wouldn't have cared if her main social group was about to be shut down, she would have just popped in _Anal Sluts 4_ and gone about her day.

The smoke filled her mouth nicely. She held the joint out to Artie before she was done to not waste the burning pot, the way they both had. Artie gave her a head nod in appreciation of manners for it.

A few more rounds of passes and the world was already feeling a bit better. She had people to smoke with, didn't she? A year ago, if she'd begged Shannon for a gram bag of her very own, she would have sat in her bedroom to smoke, listening to Nightwish and laughing at the way manga was laid out backwards. Now she was sitting in a public park with two cute boys. And so what if Santana and Brittany and Puck and Matt faded away until they couldn't look at each other in the hallways? She'd still have Kurt and Mercedes to walk with between classes. And, frankly Kurt's scathing opinions of the general population of McKinley was, and always would be, more funny than Matt's. Matt was a great guy, but his sense of sarcasm was broken.

Tina twisted on the bench and leaned to kiss Artie's cheek. "You're a cute boy."

"Thanks?"

Tina twisted the other direction to kiss Mike's neck. "You're a cute boy too." Mike swallowed hard and Tina started giggling.

"Your laugh is ridiculous," Mike proclaimed.

"You should hear me drunk." There was cell phone video somewhere of that. Possibly no longer in Ohio, since Tina didn't keep in contact with summer camp friends during the year, not even on Facebook, so for all she knew Cho and Lisse and Melanie had moved from Akron to Detroit. It wasn't the sort of thing that would ruin her if it got out to potential employers, so it didn't bother her too much that it was circulating out of her control.

"Oh yeah? What's your best drunk story?"

"No, I want to hear Mike's first. He's on the football team, I'm sure he's got good house party happenings."

Mike began to tell a great story about jousting with loaves of bread. Tina laughed at least three times before he turned the floor over to her for a summer camp story. From there the conversation meandered, a symptom of being high that only got worse once Artie pulled out a second joint for them to work through. It tasted a bit different from the first, which she had to figure was because of the striped rolling paper. It was definitely flavoured as something, though she couldn't tell what.

Mike twisted and pointed toward the parking lot on the opposite side of the pond. "Wait. Guys, are those cops?"

"Paranoia: the first sign of a stoner," Artie replied calmly.

"Maybe, but I think the police do patrol this area at night." One of her uncles was on the city counsel, Tina had listened to him bragging about making Lima safer more than once.

"It's night already?" Artie shook his head and looked up stunned, like he'd only just noticed the moon. "Okay, yeah, maybe we should book it home."

Mike looked way too anxious for the amount of pot he'd consumed. "Can I shower at your place before I go home? Because I'm pretty sure my mom will hit me with a belt if she smells it on me."

Artie looked a bit horrified by the idea, but Tina understood Mike's parents' train of thought. Pot smoking led to stupidity led to failure. From what she knew, Mike's parents were super stereotypically Asian. They'd see smoking pot as the beginning of the end. She nudged Artie, and he shrugged.

"Yeah, for sure."

Tina leered. "Mike just wants to be in your bedroom naked."

"Hey hey hey. I said shower in the bathroom, not jerk off on his bed. Totally different outcomes."

"Both would result in a damp bed," Artie volunteered solemnly.

Tina giggled, then thought about that. "But that's just what you said, not what you were thinking about? _Were_ you thinking about... are you a horny stoner, Mike Chang?"

She was pretty sure he was blushing, but it was hard to tell in the cloudy moonlight. "Uh. I plead second amendment."

Artie tilted his head. "You want the right to bear arms?"

"Fuck, which one is the one about not incriminating yourself?"

"I'd laugh at how faily you are at civics, but I'd really rather think about how you're basically agreeing that you are incriminating yourself, which means yes, you _are_ a horny stoner." Tina grinned. Artie and Mike: it could practically be yaoi. If only they were actually into it, not just doing it for Kurt and Finn's sake.


	3. Artie

_Chapter 3: Artie:_

Nobody was happy after they lost regionals, but Artie thought maybe Tina was particularly upset about it. _Upset_ wasn't the right level of magnitude for what she was feeling, but he was too busy watching her sniffling and wiping the eyeliner off her eyes to think of a better word.

She buckled him into the back seat of Matt's van, then walked around to the other side and climbed in next to him. Her bouffant 'do had fallen from its hairpins and was trailing tendrils around her face. Artie thought it looked artfully beautiful. He wished he had his camera with him.

"Please don't cry," he whispered, as she reached for her sixth tissue. "It's kind of freaking me out."

She shot a dirty look at him. That seemed a lot more like the Tina he knew and loved, which made him relax a little. "You don't _say_ that to your girlfriend when she's in the middle of a crisis."

"Well, I don't know what else to do," he protested.

She sniffed. "You put your arm around me and say _it'll be okay_ and _you'll feel better tomorrow_ and stuff like that."

Artie wasn't sure those things were true, but he decided if Tina told him that he needed to do this, she was probably right. "Can you scoot over into the middle seat? I don't think I can reach you from here."

She nestled up against his side under his arm, resting her head on the space between his neck and his shoulder. He could smell her perfume and girl-smell, and thought it was a pretty nice thing to be doing, even if she didn't feel bad.

"It'll be okay," he murmured, giving her shoulder a tentative squeeze. "You'll feel better tomorrow."

"Yeah, like that." She cried a little harder, which seemed counterintuitive to Artie.

"I thought this was supposed to be making you feel better."

"It is!" she sobbed.

He grimaced, trying to think of what else he could say instead of repeating the lines she'd already given him, but nothing came to mind. "Matt," he hissed.

"Tina, you need anything else?" Matt called from the front.

"No." She clung to Artie, feeling soft and warm and delicious. He wondered if it was okay that he was getting turned on by comforting her, or if a girl would think that was completely awful and obnoxious, and decided not to say anything.

Matt gave Artie a sympathetic look. "I think you're doing everything you can do."

Artie didn't like that answer. He was pretty sure he couldn't do anything else, but he guessed somebody _else_ could - somebody who was better with girls, or other people in general. "How about I call Mike?"

Her breath hitched in a sob, and after a moment, she nodded. Artie breathed a sigh of relief. He'd done something right. Without moving the arm that was around her shoulder, he fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed Mike's number.

"Um - hi?"

"Change of plans. You think your parents would let you come over to my house? Tina's -" He didn't want to say _freaking out,_ not with her right there. "- really sad," he finished.

"Oh. Let me ask." He heard muffled discussion and waited, his arm around Tina, holding her, and feeling completely inadequate. A few minutes later, Mike was back. "I can come over for an hour, but my dad's going to come pick me up after that. Are you guys there already?"

"No, we're still on our way." He held the phone out within Tina's line of sight. "Do you want to talk to him?" She shook her head, buried under her hair. "I guess we'll see you there?"

"I'll be there as quickly as I can," Mike promised.

It hadn't been easy, sitting in the waiting room at the hospital while Quinn was in labor. Mike had sat with Tina and walked with her and looked concerned about Tina the whole time, whereas Artie was more appropriately worried about _Quinn._ After all, she was the one who was practically being split open by this creature, making its intrepid way through a space that, as far as he could tell, was much, much too small for its body to fit through. But Mike been a good boyfriend, which Artie sometimes wondered if he would ever master. Artie had just stayed out of the way as best as he could, reading a magazine.

It would have been easier to stay out of Tina's way now, to suggest she go be by herself until she could return to the world of the sane and rational. He _hated_ seeing her unhappy. Instead, he circled her uncomfortably after Matt helped him back into his chair, making minute arcs around her, but never really getting close enough to touch.

"I'm just going to get some water," he said, and Tina nodded, making a beeline for his den. Artie hid out in the kitchen for a while, ignoring his mom's pointed glares. When the doorbell finally rang, he felt nothing but relieved. _Mike's here. He'll handle it. _

Mike stood awkwardly on the front porch, shifting from foot to foot, but when Artie smiled at him, he relaxed and came inside.

"I can't fix it," Artie said, like an apology. _I can't fix her,_ he might have said, but that sounded like blaming language, and Tina had trained him out of using that, at least.

"I don't really know if I can do any better," Mike said.

Artie scoffed, following Mike into the den, where Tina sat in a sodden lump, surrounded by discarded tissues. "Of course you can."

Artie's certainty seemed to surprise Mike, but he followed the idea readily enough, crouching down in front of Tina, tentatively wiping her eyes with a fresh tissue. "Hey."

"I probably look like shit."

"No way." Mike's smile was gentle. His thumb brushed against her cheekbone, and Artie watched her look up at him in surprise, and smile. _What did I tell you,_ he wanted to say, but he wasn't going to interrupt their little scene. It felt a little strange, watching them together, but he wasn't going to get upset about it when he'd been the one to invite Mike over in the first place.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I don't mean to be such a complete -" She laughed unhappily. "I can't think of anything to call myself that isn't sexist."

"Don't call yourself anything at all." Mike knelt in closer, watching her for permission, and hugged her. Artie breathed along with them as she relaxed against Mike's shoulder. "This okay?"

"So good," she whispered, ignoring the fresh tears on her cheeks. "Thank you for coming over, Mike."

Artie wasn't stupid. He could tell the way Mike was hugging Tina was helping, in the same way his own half-embrace had helped in Matt's van. He didn't really understand why crying was better than sniffling, but she seemed to think it was. He'd be willing to bet more touching would be better, too. He reached out and rested a hand on Mike's back as he held her.

"Kiss her," he murmured, and felt Mike flinch, his muscles twisting under Artie's touch. Mike's back muscles were fascinating. Artie knew his own were more defined than the average nerd's, considering he used his upper body to do everything most people required their entire musculature to do, but Mike's - Mike was a fine specimen of humanity by anybody's definition, gay, straight or whatever. He decided not to move his hand as Tina's lips met Mike's, and to concentrate on doing whatever he could do right.

Then it hit him. _Of course!_ He didn't have the words to make her feel better, but he had the _music._ Artie rummaged through his memory until he found a suitable song, and while his girlfriend kissed his boyfriend, he crooned quietly:

_When your day is long  
__And the night, the night is yours alone  
__When you're sure you've had enough  
__Of this life, well hang on  
__Don't let yourself go  
__'Cause everybody cries  
__And everybody hurts sometimes_

_Sometimes everything is wrong  
__Now it's time to sing along  
__When your day is night alone  
__If you feel like letting go  
__If you think you've had too much  
__Of this life, well hang on  
__Everybody hurts  
__Take comfort in your friends  
__Everybody hurts_

"Mike," she breathed as his mouth moved lower on her neck to her collarbone. Now her tears just made her radiant. There wasn't anything to be jealous of here. Artie touched her hand, clutching Mike's back, and it was almost as though Mike's hand was an extension of himself, doing the work he couldn't do alone.

Mike turned his flushed face toward Artie, looking somewhat bewildered, but no worse for wear. "That was awesome."

"Well." Artie shrugged, grinning. "It wasn't rap."

Tina and Mike both giggled, more than the stupid comment probably warranted, but Artie was happy to provide a release of tension. Only - he considered that for a moment, and decided yeah, he'd probably provide that kind of release of tension too, if Tina decided she wanted it.

Tina put out her arms. "C'mere. You're too far away."

Artie shifted out of his chair, using the grab bars his parents had installed on the side of the couch, and flanked Tina on one side while Mike moved to sit beside her on the other. He was pretty sure his interest in the state of Mike's erection wasn't entirely academic, but he wasn't about to put a hand over to investigate, and bringing it up would definitely skew the mood toward something he wasn't ready to deal with. So he just dug out the remote control and cued up his ten-disk changer to play the musical episode of Buffy from season 6. Mike didn't even blink when Tina sang along to all the songs. There were consequences to being Artie Abrams' girlfriend, after all, and comfort-watching Buffy was one of them. Mike even laughed at the David Fury interlude about the mustard.

"This is really nice," he said, slinging an arm around Tina. Mike's hand ended up on the back of Artie's head, stroking his hair, and that felt pretty nice, too.

An insistent honk of a horn, three sharp beeps, from the driveway caused Mike to sit up straight, withdrawing his arms. "That's my dad," he said. Artie reached out and grabbed his arm, causing him to pause in confusion.

"Thanks." Artie had no idea what the appropriate etiquette was for a situation like this, but the moment he held out his hand for a handshake, he was certain that wasn't it. At least Tina didn't laugh at him.

Mike didn't laugh either. He smiled, then leaned in and kissed Artie's cheek. "No problem. What are boyfriends for?"

Tina called her mom to come pick her up as soon as Mike's dad's car had disappeared into the night. It gave Artie a few minutes alone with her, and they held hands and did a crossword while they waited.

"So." He nudged her knee. "Is he a good kisser?"

Tina considered this with what purported to be a mysterious smile, but it wasn't actually very mysterious at all. Artie knew the answer already. He just wanted to see her looking smug and satisfied.

"I think you'll have to kiss him and find out," she said.

His mom appeared at his shoulder within moments of Tina's departure. "Come make me tea, Artie."

This meant _You're in deep shit and I'm not letting you go anywhere._ Artie preceded his mom into the kitchen, wondering exactly which of the things he'd done she would have considered heinous. But she didn't say anything more until the tea was brewed and they were seated across from one another at the table.

"I suppose I should be happy you didn't hide in the kitchen the _entire _time your girlfriend crying," his mom said dryly.

"It wasn't - she was -"

"Yes, I know. Feelings are hard. Doesn't mean you had to be a shit about it."

Artie crossed his arms. Her sarcasm was understandable, but her name calling wasn't accurate. "I wasn't being a shit. I was waiting for Mike in a place where I couldn't make things worse."

"Is that what you call that?"

"Well, like you said, feelings are hard. For me. Mike's good at them, though. Let's be real: Mike basically saved my ass."

She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "You owe him a thank you, then."

It wasn't like Artie didn't know that. There just didn't seem to be many ways to actually do that, without using the phrase _thank you for making Tina stop being a girl._ That wasn't fair to Tina, and Mike probably wouldn't like hearing it either. He wasn't like Felix from film club, who thought girl jokes were the height of humour.

"Well, it's not like I can ask him out to dinner. We're walking a thin line already." His mom already knew about the fake relationship, had taken it relatively calmly, except for the occasional burst of sarcasm. She'd have to understand that Breadstix was an actual date.

"Maybe you should try crossing that line."

"Um. What?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't give me that. Your legs are busted, not your ears. Maybe you should take Mike out on a date."

Artie frowned. He wasn't sure when their wires had gotten crossed, but it should be easy enough to straighten her out. "Weren't you listening when I told you about the plan? We're only doing stuff at school. It only has to be in front of Schue."

"Oh. Now I understand! Schue was hiding in Mr Patterson's shrubbery, taking pictures of you three with a long lens. That's why you wanted Mike to help you soothe your girlfriend!"

"Maybe I'll just buy him a CD," he muttered.

She reached across the table and took his hand. "No. You're going to buy Tina something worth at least ten bucks from Hot Topic, to apologize for being a shit. And then you're going to use actual words with Mike. And right now you're gonna have a smoothie and think about why exactly you've assumed this is something you can only do at school."

Artie grasped onto the only thing that he could. "You made smoothies?"

"_Not_ the point, boychild."

Artie moved to the cupboard beside the sink. In it were all the novelty cups, the ones he was on strict orders to never let Grandma see. He pulled out one of the Flintstones ones. It was about the size of his forearm. At least half the pitcher fit inside it. But he'd been ordered to think it out with a smoothie, so might as well capitalize on that.

He put it on the table, put the straw in his mouth, propped his head on his fist, and started thinking.

It wasn't until he had his thoughts in order that he stopped drinking. At some point his mom had left, and at some point in the next hour he'd have to pee for a solid minute - but he had a plan, a solid act two for his and Tina's and Mike's rom-com. That was more than worth temporarily zoning out.


	4. more Mike

_Chapter 4: Mike_

Artie approached Mike in the hallway outside the auditorium, wearing a determined expression. Mike still felt a little strange interacting with Artie alone, away from the buffer of Tina, but he smiled, pausing as Artie wheeled up in front of him. Jordan paused a few steps away.

"Thanks," said Artie. "For helping Tina when I was freaking out. You were really cool."

"Uh... thanks?" Mike smiled tentatively.

"I wanted to... my mom said I should... I mean, it doesn't have to be a _real_ date, but -" Artie broke off, shaking his head irritably. "Forget that. You want to go out on Friday?"

"Yeah, sure," said Mike. "Tina wanted to see _Monsters University."_

"No, I mean just you and me."

Mike took a little step back, trying to maintain his balance, dodging a girl digging something out of her backpack. He saw Jordan smirking a little behind his books, and decided no matter how weird it was, he wasn't going to lose his composure. It was only _Artie,_ after all.

"Sure," he said. That hadn't been so hard. He smiled, watching Artie smile back in relief. "That sounds like fun." What, had Artie thought he was going to say _no?_

"Great." Artie nodded briefly, nodding. When he rolled away, it was Jordan who hit him on the shoulder, and Mike realized he was holding his breath.

"What - just happened there?" asked Mike. Usually reality wasn't something that made him quite so faint. Jordan pushed his shoulder harder, knocking him into the path of some oncoming freshmen.

"You're going out with your boyfriend. Sounds like a pretty ordinary sort of thing to do to me."

"But _Artie_ doesn't date guys," Mike hissed. Then he paused. "Does he?"

"Who cares?" Jordan said impatiently. "Isn't this a good thing? He asked, you said yes."

"But why? This supposed to be a showmance, but first he's cool with me kissing Tina and now he wants to take it outside of school?" He stared at his hands, wondering if they were going to go transparent or something in this alternate universe they were suddenly in. "I don't get it. What are we supposed to do? Did he even say? Did I black out?"

"No, stupid. You're going to have to text him for details. Or make it up yourself. Hell, invite him over for a picnic dinner. On your _bed._ Once he sees your dick you'll know whether or not he'll date guys."

Mike glared at him. "You know what? I'm going to get date advice from someone who actually _goes on dates._"

"Oh, burn," cackled the girl with the backpack.

"I date!" Jordan protested.

She smirked. "He doesn't think you do, and you're beffies, right?"

Mike left Jordan pleading his case to the brunette with more than a little satisfaction. It was stuff like that that made him believe in cosmic justice, if not in any particular God.

With Glee over for the year, Mike was pretty confident that he knew where the person he wanted to talk to would be. Matt was a sports guy through and through. Mike didn't doubt that the heartfelt statement Matt had given at their final song dedicated to Schue was true; he surely was glad that Glee had made him more than just another football player. But there was a difference between being proud of having diversified interests, and completely shunning old interests. Matt had rejoined the baseball and soccer teams when they'd opened, and Mike knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he'd see Matt, along with Finn and Puck, at the early football practices in August. At the moment, even without an official practice, Matt would be outside, playing pick-up something with someone.

He wasn't wrong. Today it was basketball, with Puck and two other guys from the baseball team. Mike had never considered joining the baseball team because baseball bored the shit out of him, but socially speaking it probably would have been a safer option than football. Baseball players weren't half as hostile to others as the Titans were, and they weren't interested in jockeying for supremacy, like the hockey players were.

"Be done in five minutes," Puck shouted out when he saw him, then elbowed past the Hispanic player in the WM hat. Mike sat on the grass to wait. The guys passed the ball back and forth, alternately shouting encouragement and jeers, and used a lot more elbow than would have been legal in a real game. Eventually they got tired of making baskets and high-fived each other before breaking up.

Puck and Matt walked over to him. "What's up, dude?"

"I, um. Advice?"

"Okay, long conversation then. Settling in," Puck replied with a congenial smirk. He threw himself to the grass, knees bent, arms loosely curled around his calves. Matt didn't say anything, but followed, laying out fully and staring at the sky, still breathing hard.

"Okay. So I've been invited on a date. But I don't really have any info about it. It's like, a hypothesis of a date."

"You've been on a date before," Matt said.

"But this one is different. When it's two guys... I don't know what to do."

"Bring a condom," Puck replied instantly.

"What? No!" Mike shook his head. It wasn't as though he didn't _want_ to; he'd had jerk off sessions about both Artie and Tina. He just didn't imagine it as an option for a long time, if ever. "That's totally not necessary. It's only a first date."

Puck shrugged. "I've never dated anyone who didn't put out on the first date. Hell, me and Kurt were having sex long before we were even dating."

Matt reached out an arm and awkwardly punched him in the hip. "Not everyone is you. Don't make him feel shitty for not being a slut."

Puck retaliated, slapping him in the forehead. "It's not being a slut, it's being sex positive, fucknut. If you're safe, and totally not getting anyone pregnant, and you have safewords worked out if it's that sort of thing, why _not _bone on the first date?"

Mike shook his head, trying not to die from the blushing. "It's not going to happen. I mean, it kind of came out of nowhere. I don't even know how gay he really is."

"It's not a sliding scale, man. I was straight until I decided I wanted Kurt, and then Finn and I worked it out. If this guy, whoever, is into you enough for 'hypothetical dating' -" He made air quotes. "- then he's into you enough to bang you. Or get banged, whatever floats his boat."

Mike tried to get the conversation back on the rails. "Fine. Maybe it'll work out, _someday_. But that's not what I need the advice about. I don't know how to _do _a date with a guy. Like, guys pay the bill and provide transportation and open doors. If it's two guys, who does what? I mean, I don't even know what we're _doing. _Normally that's the guy's job, to make the plans. But who..."

"Okay," Matt interrupted, peeling his sticky with sweat t-shirt off his stomach and flapping it. "I get that you might not want to out him, or whatever. But can you vaguely describe who it is? Because if we know what he's like, then we could probably guess roles."

"Oh! Yeah, uh, it's just... it's Artie."

Puck snorted. "Dude, what are you even worrying about then? You could just play video games, and talk it up in front of Schue. Hell, you don't even have to _actually _do anything at all. Just bullshit."

Mike shook his head again, not quite ready to make eye contact. "No, um... we're trying a real date?"

"Not to stretch anyone's boundaries?" Matt clarified. "For real?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome. Threesome sex is the best sex." Puck held his hand out for a high five.

Mike left him hanging. "I don't. Uh. I think Tina's a virgin, still."

"So? Kurt was. And Finn had never been with a guy. Besides, a threesome's a whole new frontier. You're actually only adding two hands, but if you do it right it's like adding five hundred."

Matt grinned. "That's great, Puck, but I think Mike's still more caught up in the idea of how to actually accomplish this date, not what to do for dessert."

Mike was grateful for Matt. Matt was sane, and not ruled entirely by his dick. He let Matt put a sweaty hand on his shoulder as he sighed and cradled his head in his hands.

"Look, it's Artie, right? He's not gonna appreciate being babied. People already do that shit enough. So go dutch on anything you buy, and ask before you wheel him places. Tina pushes him, but she's nurturing by nature. He might not want that from a boyfriend. There's a reason he wants someone of either gender, right?"

"And just text him about where and what," Puck added. "Suggestions, not orders. Like "if we're seeing a movie lets see something Disney because I secretly enjoy watching children cry at dead animals,' or 'If we wanna get a meal we should go to La Charreada because I love tostitos, and after eight o'clock the waiters mutate into giant gorillas that fling poo everywhere'."

Mike laughed. It was a great mental image. No wonder high-strung Kurt was dating him, if Puck could make him laugh like that.


	5. more Artie

_Chapter 5: Artie_

Artie decided he wasn't going to ask his mom for advice about the date. Not because he didn't trust her, because when it came to cool plus understanding, his mom was aces. But if he was going to be as much a failure of a boyfriend to Mike as he was to Tina, he was going to do it all by himself.

_Man of Steel_ won out over _Monsters University,_ partly because Artie knew Tina would be annoyed if she didn't get to see the latter with him - they'd watched _Monsters, Inc._ more than once together during quiet make-out nights in his family room - but mostly because Artie kind of liked the idea of seeing a superhero movie with someone other than Andrew from A.V. club for a change. He and Andrew would probably watch it together eventually. The point was, for Artie, there wasn't anything he'd rather do than talk Marvel vs. DC. Mike deserved to see what he was getting into by dating him.

The whole idea of dating a guy was still a little confusing. He knew what his goals were when it came to dating a girl, specifically Tina, and at least some of them involved snuggling and kissing. But he wasn't sure what snuggling and kissing might be like with a guy. Sure, Mike had an amazing body, and Artie admired him a lot, but he didn't flirt the way Tina did, or give him specific directions to know what to do with his hands. Artie wasn't sure what to do with Mike's blushing and stammering. He was either going to have to figure out how to take the lead, or ask a lot of questions.

Dates with Tina had always involved food, but Mike had weird food restrictions and he didn't know what to do with that. He thought Mike might like going out for ice cream after the movie. His mom would do what she normally did, drive them and then hang out in the corner of whatever place they were in, letting him and Tina be alone. After that, if they didn't go back to his house, his mom usually took her home. He thought that sounded like a pretty reasonable date.

He showered and made a stab at picking out some nice clothes before his mom poked her head in. "You ready for pants?"

Tina had asked him once if he ever got embarrassed when his mom helped him put on his underwear. He pointed out that she'd been doing that since he was an infant, and had only stopped for a brief period between toddlerhood and the car accident at age 8. It would be like being embarrassed about his mom driving him to school or making him breakfast: it was just something she did. But having his mom ask him about his upcoming date, that was a little embarrassing.

"You're not going to ask him all kinds of questions, are you?" Artie wanted to know as she pulled up his socks. "He's not super social like Tina is. I'd say he's more shy than introverted."

"I promise I'll stay in the background," she said, smiling. "Are you guys going out somewhere after the movie, or should we pick up snacks to have at the house?"

"Could we go to the Creamery in Delphos? I don't think Mike's a turtle sundae kind of guy, but he could get a fat-free-no-sugar thing. He's kind of obsessive about his body."

"Dancers are like that sometimes." She passed him the blue striped tie and the one with the paramecia on it, and he passed the striped one back to her before looping it around his collar, making a face.

"Tina's a dancer and she's not like that. I love that she's not all worried about being stick-thin. She works out to put on muscle, not to look like Kate Moss. But I think Mike's more self-conscious, which is totally weird, considering he's, like, Adonis."

His mom's smile spread. "I've never heard you talk about a guy like that before."

"I'm not. I mean, he's a guy. I don't really even know if I like guys that way. But - he's my boyfriend, right? I'm doing boyfriend things. If he hates it, I guess I'll find out?"

She bent down and kissed him on the cheek. "If I were Mike, I'd be charmed. But I would have been the kind of girl that would have been thrilled to have been asked to the science fiction movies. Make sure you let him talk about himself."

"Mom," Artie said, rolling his eyes as he followed her down the hall, "I promised myself I wouldn't ask you for date advice."

"Who's asking?" she said. "I'm offering. Ignore me at your peril."

* * *

Artie didn't realize the degree to which he'd failed at this date until Mike leaned over halfway through the movie and whispered, "So... Superman's really an alien?"

"Get out," Artie whispered back, staring at Mike. But no, he didn't appear to be making a joke. He was seriously asking.

"I've never really read Superman comics or anything," he said apologetically.

"But you saw the Christopher Reeve movies, right?" Mike shook his head, and Artie put a hand to his chest. "God. What kind of a deprived childhood did you _have? _Never mind, don't answer that. Tell me over ice cream."

Artie couldn't quite wait until they got to The Creamery to ask Mike for details. Mike seemed so embarrassed, Artie had to stop and tell him, "You know I don't really think you're deprived, right? I'm just teasing."

"No, I get it," Mike said. "I really kind of was. My parents didn't let me watch most American movies; they thought they were all bad for me. They've loosened up a little, but mostly I played sports. They wouldn't even let me have a skateboard because it would turn me into a hoodlum."

"Yeah, my mom wouldn't let me have a skateboard either," Artie agreed. "What a bitch."

"I resemble that remark," his mom commented from the front seat, as Mike's face went scarlet.

He dropped his voice to a whisper. "If I said that word in front of my mom, I think I'd get grounded for a week."

"Skateboard? Wow, they really are hard-core." That made Mike laugh, at last, and Artie felt a little better.

He surprised Artie again when he ordered an Almond Joy avalanche at the Creamery counter. "Coconut's my weakness," he said, handing the woman a five. "Oh, now I get what people mean when they say _kryptonite_."

"Hey." Artie nudged Mike's leg. "I thought I was the one who asked you out on this date. Who said you could pay for ice cream?"

There went Mike's blush again. "I just - I figured, you paid for the movie, I'd pay for ice cream. If that's okay. I really don't know what I'm doing here."

"That makes two of us. But if you want to buy me ice cream, that'd be cool." He grinned up at Mike, watching him as he smiled back. "And you can wheel me over to the table, so I don't spill caramel all over my good jeans. You'll learn what a slob I am eventually, but I'm trying to put my best metaphorical foot forward here."

Mike's smile went shy. It was pretty cute, actually. "The effort's appreciated."

Artie wasn't sure why, but after that, it felt more like a real date. He made more of an effort to respond as though it was, figuring Mike deserved that. When Mike would make a comment about dancing, Artie followed it up with a compliment about his skill or a light jibe about how fit he was, and Mike would blush harder.

Maybe it was the fact that Mike was sucking his avalanche through a straw big enough to fit a pencil, but Artie realized he was getting kind of turned on by flirting with Mike. He stared at his lips, wondering what it might be like to kiss him. He wasn't really worried what it meant about him, wanting to kiss a guy, since this was experimentation for both of them, but he felt excited and nervous and a little bit hard, and all of that was enough to inspire him to ask the next question.

"So," he said, scraping the last of the caramel out of his styrofoam cup, "you ready to call it a night? Or do you want to come over to my house for a while?"

Mike stammered and hesitated and did all the things Artie expected him to do, but eventually, he responded with, "Your house would be cool."

Artie smiled, holding his gaze. "I'll reiterate that I have no idea what I'm doing."

Mike shook his head. "You're doing great. Really, it's... this has been the best date I've been on in a long time."

"Yeah, well, if you're feeling obligated to do other stuff just because I asked you out, I'm letting you off the hook now. I wouldn't be offended if you just wanted to go home."

"Is that what _you_ want?" Mike asked softly.

"I don't know," Artie answered honestly. "I'm kind of willing to find out, though. If you think you're still willing to hear _no_ at some point."

"Really?" Mike looked a little stunned. "You - I didn't know you liked guys."

"I don't. Not as a rule. But it'd be kind of stupid to say I don't like you. I'm just trying to listen to whatever signals my body's giving me. My brain, whatever. Paying attention."

"Paying attention," Mike echoed. He leaned forward across the table, dropping his voice. "I can totally hear _no,_ but... I'm interested." He closed his eyes. "God, I can't believe I just said that."

"Mike, after Puck and _Finn_ came out, I really wouldn't be surprised to hear that _any_ of my friends were curious about guys." He reached out and touched Mike's hand, watching Mike's eyes fly open in surprise. "You won't freak me out, okay? Even if I decide I'm not into it, you don't have to worry about that. I'd like to think we're kind of friends by now."

"Yeah," Mike nodded, "yeah, of course." He stared at Artie's hand on his. "I just never thought this would be anything other than a pretend relationship."

Artie shrugged. "Seems like a waste of all that time spent together." He looked over at his mom, sitting reading a book in the corner, and gave her a little wave. She nodded, dog-earing the page and pushing her chair out before coming over to their table. "Mom... we're going to come back to the house for a while."

"No problem," she said easily. "Mike, do you have a curfew?"

"I should be home by eleven," he said. "I can call me dad to pick me up."

"Either way. I'm happy to drive you." She didn't offer to push Artie's chair, and after a brief awkward moment, Mike stepped in to grasp the handles, giving her a stiff nod. She walked ahead of them, fielding the doors and opening the van.

Artie considered trying to hold Mike's hand on the ride home, but decided that might feel like too much pressure, reaching across the captain's chairs right in front of his mom. Once they got into the house, though, his mom disappeared with a vague, "I'll be in my bedroom," leaving them alone in the family room.

Artie shifted himself out of his chair onto the couch, grinning expectantly up at Mike. It was a good feeling to be the one calling the shots, to have a sense that Mike was waiting for him to say what was okay to do next. He beckoned him with one hand, patting the couch beside him with the other. "C'mon. Sit."

Mike moved in to occupy the cushion next to him, starting off with a healthy gap between their thighs. Artie rested his arm around the back of the couch, letting Mike decide if he wanted to move closer.

"So when did you know you liked guys?" he asked.

Mike shrugged, looking down at his hands. Then he laughed. "No, actually, I know the exact date. It was at my fourth-grade birthday party. Graham Newton lived four doors down from me. He bought me this present that my parents were, like, _no,_ we're going to return it - I can't even remember what it was, some media tie-in I didn't even recognize - but I begged them to let me keep it because _Graham Newton_ had given it to me." He shook his head. "I was completely devastated when he moved away in fifth grade."

"Obviously it wasn't about sex at that point," said Artie. "But somewhere you figured out you wanted to do stuff with guys, right? I'm just wondering."

"No, it's fine." Mike was fidgeting, setting his hands on his knees, then crossing them in front of him. "I don't think there was a specific guy when it came to that. I just..."

"But you think about them," he prodded. "When you masturbate."

"God," Mike muttered, squirming.

Artie raised both eyebrows. "You do masturbate. Tina made a comment about it and you didn't deny it. And, seriously, any guy who denies it is lying, I think."

"Yeah, but I don't _talk_ about it." He shrugged again, looking mortified.

"Okay, that's fine. I'm not pushing you." Artie wasn't going to stare at his crotch or anything. He reached out and put a hand on Mike's knee, letting him get used to his touch. "I'm pretty sure I never thought about guys before, but there's nothing wrong with it. Tina and I talk about masturbating. It's hot."

"Can you stop saying that word?" Mike glanced over at Artie, then away. He was seriously tensing up. Artie squeezed his knee, making him jump.

"Do you want me to stop this?" Artie asked.

"I don't know. No." Mike looked at him again, breathing unevenly. "No."

Artie shifted closer. "Do you want me to kiss you?"

"You said no kissing on the mouth."

"A guy can change his mind. Do you?"

Mike's eyes were fixed on Artie's lips. "Yes," he whispered.

His arm around Mike's shoulder came in handy now, pulling Mike in close enough that he didn't have to fall on top of him in order to reach his mouth. Mike's lips felt a lot less soft than Tina's, but there was no lipstick, which was a nice change. Artie breathed in coconut and chocolate ice cream, and when he opened his mouth, Mike's tongue was right there, grazing Artie's top lip. Artie made a little involuntary noise.

"Sorry," Mike said immediately.

"No, no," Artie assured him, "it's - it's good. It's good." Gently, he pressed in for another kiss, and Mike responded, his body relaxing under Artie's arm. It _was_ good, surprisingly good, and before Artie thought about it, he brought his hands around to touch Mike's chest. It was strange for there not to be breasts, but Mike's shivering response was familiar as he brushed against his nipples.

"Not saying no?" asked Mike. He sounded nervous, like asking was going to make Artie decide he wanted to stop or something. Artie almost made a joke about it: _Jesus, what? I'm making out with a guy!?_ But he was pretty sure that would freak Mike out more than it would relax him, and he really didn't want to break the tension between them. The tension was kind of awesome. So he just shook his head and kept kissing him, letting him know with his noises and his hand around the back of Mike's head that he liked the tongue, _yes,_ he liked that.

Eventually Mike's hands fluttered between them, moving to Artie's ribs, his shoulders, his face, tentatively touching. Artie thought he knew what Mike was thinking, because it did feel different, really different. But different wasn't bad, and he guessed Mike didn't think so either. Kissing and touching Mike was having pretty much the same effect on him that kissing and touching Tina did.

"You can touch my leg," he said. Mike paused, looking down at Artie's lap, then away. His face was already flushed, so whatever embarrassment he might feel if he noticed Artie's erection was covered.

"Can you feel anything?" Mike asked. He rested a hand on Artie's knee.

"Not that far down." He picked up Mike's hand and tucked it against his hip. "Here, yes."

Mike nodded. Then he moved his fingers slowly, until his thumb brushed against the inside of Artie's thigh. Artie's cock twitched - there was no way Mike couldn't have noticed that. "How... how about that?"

"I feel that," he breathed, "yeah, I feel that."

Mike's eyes were dark and huge. "Still not saying no?"

"_No." _He wasn't going to grab Mike's hand and put it on his cock, the way he might have if this had been Tina, but he sure as hell _wanted_ to. "You can touch me anywhere you want."

"Wow." Mike looked suddenly overwhelmed. He sat back a little, watching Artie. "Really? I'm not... I mean, I kind of feel like I'm getting away with something here."

Artie laughed, causing Mike to pull back, but he pulled him back in, kissing him again. "Trust me, I'll be sure to say something if I don't like it. Really. It's hot, isn't it? This is turning you on?"

Mike just nodded, apparently beyond words. It felt like a hell of a compliment, knowing his kisses were having that kind of an effect on another guy. He touched Mike's neck, looking at the way the tendons moved along the collar of his shirt, and watched his body yearn toward Artie's hand, saw his breathing stutter and pause. He traced a line down the center of Mike's chest, resting a hand on his impossibly tight abs.

"Okay for me to touch, too?" he asked.

Mike chewed on the corner of his lip and nodded. When Artie curved his fingers around his thigh and squeezed, he made a noise that was a cross between a gasp and a moan. Yeah, that was hot, Artie decided. That was _really_ hot. He traced those fingers under the seam of Mike's jeans, and watched Mike's eyes close as his head dropped back.

"Oh god," he gasped.

"I really can stop any time."

That was a little tease, maybe, but Mike took it seriously, shaking his head emphatically. "No no no, don't stop."

He moved his thumb to press on Mike's zipper, making him buck forward into Artie's hand. Artie leaned in, kissing him while he ran his thumb along the hard length, feeling it pulse under his touch. _Really hot,_ he thought again, reaching for Mike's zipper.

"Artie," Mike protested. "Your _mom_ is in the other room."

"She's not going to come out," he promised. "Not until it's time for you to go. That's why she asked about your curfew. Trust me, we do this all the time, right here on this couch."

"Oh _god," _he moaned again. "That's an image I really don't need right now."

"Me and Tina," Artie said, grinning. "That does something for you?"

"Something. Yeah." Mike lay there, breathing hard, and when Artie moved his hand away, he made a sweet little disappointed noise that made Artie want to do all _kinds_ of things. But Artie waited for Mike to pick up his head and look at him. "Sorry."

"Nah." He made a forget-it motion, leaning back. "Just, I liked that. Kind of a lot more than I thought I would. So... if you want me to, I'll keep going."

Mike stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. "Maybe I should have listened to Puck," he murmured.

"What's that?"

"Never mind. I want you to, yeah. It's not too much?"

"Apparently not," said Artie. He smiled. "I've got one of those, too, you know."

"I, uh, noticed." This time when Mike shifted his gaze to Artie's lap, he didn't look away. "It's really okay?"

"Mike, I told you, I like it. I want you to touch me wherever you want. It feels great. Come on."

Mike glanced over the back of the couch at the hallway once more, then ran his hand up Artie's leg, pausing just south of the bulge in his jeans. Artie gave up trying not to be obvious, and bumped his hips, encouraging him. Mike responded by catching his breath, then cupping his whole hand over Artie's cock. When it throbbed, they both made a noise.

"You can unzip me," Artie offered. Mike paused, looking overwhelmed again, and Artie wished he hadn't said anything. "Come here and kiss me again."

That didn't seem to pose any problems for Mike, at least. They kissed until Mike was squirming in his seat, trying for any kind of friction he could get. This time when Artie touched him, he didn't object when Mike tugged his button open and worked his zipper down. Mike's briefs were _very_ brief, barely containing his erection; Artie felt a moment of unease at his own very ordinary pair of underwear, wondering if Mike would laugh at them. But he hadn't expected he'd be doing anything like this on this particular date.

"Tina's trained me to take direction pretty well," he said, palming Mike's cock. "I can do right-left-harder-slower or whatever. I'm also going to stop if you say stop."

Mike groaned as Artie's fist wrapped around him. "What if I don't say stop?"

He grinned. "Then you'll be making a trip into the kitchen for paper towels at some point."


	6. more Tina

Chapter_ 6: Tina_

They were four episodes into an Angel marathon when Mercedes poked her with a freshly painted toe. "Spill, girl."

"What?" Tina asked.

"Don't even try. Something's wrong."

"Nothing's _wrong." _She could honestly say that.

"Something's up, then. On screen are James Marsters, David Boreanaz, Alex Denisof and J. August Richards. Some of the finest men of our time. And you're not even double-taking at the bare chest scenes."

She shrugged defensively. "I might have something on my mind. It's no big deal, honestly. Come on, unpause it. I want to get to the episode where we find out that Lindsey's sleeping with Eve."

Kurt sniffed. "And I want Finn to start caring about his choice of footwear. We can't always get what we want, Tina."

"You guys, it's really-"

Mercedes interrupted. "If it's nothin,' you best be tellin' us now. We'll get bored in three seconds, and then back to Angel being hot as hell."

She sighed. The problem with having great friends was that her great friends were huge divas. The more she tried to say it was no big deal, the more they'd blow it out of proportion.

"Basically, I'm just thinking about -" Fuck, Mercedes was staring at her. Tina knew without a doubt that the expression would increase tenfold as soon as she explained. Maybe if she gave it one last shot? "I invited you guys over so you could distract me, not so I could talk about stuff. This isn't a venting night, this is a look-at-the-shiny-pretty-thing-over-there night."

"Wesley is both shiny and pretty, not to mention brilliantly tragic. If he doesn't distract you, nothing will."

"Well, him and Angel," Mercedes amended.

Tina had to laugh. Her friends definitely had types. Kurt liked the well groomed, well educated, exceptionally dramatic type, and Mercedes liked the strong guy that could fade into the background to allow other people to shine. Of course, the same could be said for her, and her favourite of Spike. Sarcastic, rude, with a nice dark streak. Interesting that none of them were currently dating their perfect man. Or men, technically.

"I'm just trying to figure out my own brain. Because I think I'm jealous, but not for the 'normal' reasons. And I don't know if I should listen to logic brain or emotional brain."

"Logic brain." "Emotion brain."

Tina made a face at their simultaneous votes. "Oh, thanks. Glad we've got a unilateral decision."

"Well, maybe if you told us what the actual problem is," Mercedes sniped back, rolling her eyes, "we could give more informed opinions."

"You can keep any secrets you want," Kurt said, putting a hand on her leg. Tina raised her eyebrow and waited for the punchline. "Just know we'll get them out of you eventually."

"Fine!" she snapped. "Fine. But after spill and gush time is over, we can go back to Angel, right?"

"As far as we can get before ten o'clock. Puck and Finn and I have a date."

"That's kinda late for a date. Don't you have a curfew?"

Kurt smirked. "Yes. I have to be in my bedroom by eleven. That's why I have a date."

She sighed, giving in. "So it starts with the fact that Artie and I aren't snuggling and watching the Underworld series right now because Artie and Mike are on a date."

Kurt's smirk spread into a smile. "For the thousandth time, the three of us say thank you. I really think by next year you won't have to bother. Mr Schuester isn't the quickest learner, but when it's bombarding him on all sides..."

Tina shook her head. "No. That's the thing. It started off that way, just helping you. But they're on an actual date now. I mean, I don't know how much fun they're having, or if it's already dissolved into friendship, but Artie told me he was going in with intent."

Mercedes stared at her. "Awww, hell no! That's how he's gonna do you? Boyfriend's got another thing coming!"

"Mercedes, it's okay. I'm not mad." Tina smoothed the hem of her lace gloves. "That's the whole problem. I thought I would be fine. That with as much as I liked Mike, I could understand Artie liking Mike. That it would turn into this fun thing where some nights I date Mike and some nights I date Artie, and some nights Artie dates Mike."

"But it's not fun?" Kurt gave her the sweetest sympathetic look, then scooped her into a hug. Tina went with it. She was a natural born clinger, and even if Kurt was wrong about her needing a hug, she'd never really faced an opportunity where she didn't enjoy one.

"No, that's not it either," she continued when he finally let go. "It's like... when I thought about it, I figured I wouldn't be jealous at all, because it would be fun. I'm an open minded girl, right? It would be great to have two bi boyfriends. When Artie told me he was taking him out, I was like _damn, I am so down for this, when is my date with Mike?_ But I _am _jealous. But not because they're not with me. Because I'm not with them."

Mercedes cocked her head. "You just said the exact same thing in a different way."

Tina glared the vampire death glare that had worked so well on Figgins. Unfortunately, Mercedes was made out of stronger stuff, diamondy glittery diva'y stuff, and didn't cower. "Well, I didn't _mean_ the same thing. Excuse me for not having a vast vocabulary when it comes to threesomes."

Kurt offered her the bag of dill chips. "Take a handful, cram your mouth, and take the minute to think about how to reword. 'Cause trust me, that's the number one rule about threesomes: expressing yourself."

Tina chewed slowly, enjoying the tangy flavour. "I'm not jealous because I feel like I'm being cheated on, even though we specifically talked about it. It's not that they're not with me. I'm jealous because I want to be there. For all I know Artie's dick is halfway down Mike's throat. That's hot, and awesome, and I got off to imagining it last night -"

"Woah, T.M.I. -"

"And I'm here, like a chump, missing it. So logic brain says leave them alone, if Artie wanted to have a trio date he would have invited you. He wants to try an ab, ac, bc thing, and I agreed that's best, hottest. And emotion brain says fuck that shit super hard, run on the leaves of the wind, Pocahontas-style, to wherever they are. You get in on whatever they're doing because watching paint dry would be fun with the both of them."

Mercedes' eyebrows were halfway up her forehead. "Well, damn, girl, then why are you here with our sorry asses?"

Tina looked over at Kurt, who nodded, making a shooing motion. "I'm the one who said emotion brain. You don't even have to wait for my answer."

She stood up, brushing chip crumbs off her velour leggings. "If I hurry, I can get to Artie's by the time their movie's over. Assuming they didn't call it a night after that."


	7. even more Mike

_Chapter 7: Mike_

It was more difficult than he'd expected it would be, giving a mutual handjob. After a few strokes he stopped, stilling his hand on Artie without removing it. "Can we take turns?"

Artie smiled. "Having a hard time focusing? Yeah. That's fine. I'll do you first?"

"I promise I won't fall asleep afterwards." Mike had heard of the stereotype, but he never understood it. Orgasms didn't have that effect on him. He got a bolt of energy from his; they made him want to get up and move. Dance a little, maybe.

Artie's hand resumed its strokes, and Mike covered his mouth with tightly cupped fingers. Ms Abrams hearing him might qualify as the worst thing in the world. He wouldn't be able to come back here ever again. Thankfully he was well versed in keeping quiet. When Brittany had come over, for the few weeks they'd dated, his parents had had an open door policy, a policy which hadn't stopped her from pulling her Cheerios skirt up. The anticipatory terror of getting caught had added a bit to the experience then, and it was doing the same now.

It seemed to be the case for Artie as well; he was focused and steady, but his hand on Mike was trembling a little, and he looked a little glassy-eyed.

"Feel okay?" Artie asked.

Mike just nodded, spreading his legs a little wider and scooting down on the couch as Artie picked up the pace. It wasn't going to be long now. _A guy's giving me a hand job,_ he thought, and that was enough to drive a desperate noise out from between his teeth.

Then the sound of the doorbell made them both freeze, listening with impatient anticipation as Artie's mom made her way down the hall to answer it.

"Is she going to come in here?" Mike whispered. Artie shook his head.

"I think we're cool," he said, "but we could stop, if you want to."

Mike really, really didn't, but he also wasn't sure he could handle the consequences of being caught with his pants down.

"Tina," they heard Ms. Abrams say, sounding surprised.

"Hello, Ms. Abrams," came Tina's voice. "I'm looking for Artie and Mike. Are they here?"

"Oh my god," Mike hissed. He shoved at Artie, trying to get the boy to sit up. He didn't want to shove him to the floor, that would be fucked up considering how difficult it would be for Artie to get back in his chair by himself. But he needed Artie off, so he could tug his underwear up and find his pants. Why they fuck had he even taken them off? A serious lapse of judgement considering that he'd been fooling around in a public space.

"I don't know if they - " Ms. Abrams said slowly. For a moment, Mike thought they might be saved.

"I'm sure they won't mind me joining them." Tina's tone was firm. Next to Rachel Berry, there was nobody like Tina for getting what she wanted.

The footsteps coming closer and closer hardly penetrated his inner babbler. But then there was a shadow looming over the back of the couch, and it was officially too late to appear respectable.

"Aw, only half naked?"

Mike winced at Tina's condemnation. "I'm so, so sorry. If you - could you pass me my jeans? And then I'll just - I'll walk home, it's not that far..."

"Why would I pass you your jeans?" Tina asked, peering at him.

"I guess I just thought you were less vindictive than Santana. But I guess embarrassment is fair." He wouldn't fight it, as long as he got to pick them up before he left. He just wasn't about to do the walk of shame in nothing but navy cotton-spandex briefs.

Tina stared more closely. "Uh, I'm confused. I think our lines got crossed somewhere. I'm not vindictive, and I don't want to embarrass you. I just want you to keep your pants off. And to take your underwear off too. The stretched fabric is nice, like a sexy preview, but I'd rather see the whole thing, not just the outline." By the end of her explanation, her stare had transformed into a leer. It made her look remarkably Puck-like, except much more glittery.

Artie frowned. He was sitting upright, about a thousand years too late in Mike's book. He'd pulled up his underwear too, and he had a pillow, by virtue of being closer to the end of the couch. "I told you about my date with Mike, right? Like, I know I'm shitty with telling people about plans, but I'm sure I told you at lunch. Because I couldn't tell you what movie exactly we'd decided on because I couldn't check my phone because it was pizza day and my hands were swimming in grease."

"No, you told me. I had a night out too, I just biked from Mercedes' house." She smiled at Artie. "And _you_ can move that pillow anytime, baby."

"Then...why are you...here?" Artie asked slowly, pausing like it was a dangerous question. Mike understood the inclination. She wasn't angry, she didn't appear to be a girlfriend bomb about to go off, but there was very little of this situation that Mike understood.

"Well, I was sitting there, and Mercedes was watching Angel kick ass, and Kurt was watching Wesley do research, and instead of watching incorporeal Spike snark, I was imagining what you two might be doing. So I figured I'd attain better accuracy if I came over to see for myself." She smiled apologetically. "Yeah, I get that it's your date, and that we were trying an ab, ac, bc thing. And if you guys still want to do that for individual dates, that's okay, I guess. I'm sure there's nerdy stuff that me and Artie will want to do that you won't, and you two can... I don't know, build mud forts, or whatever it is manly boys do. But I really think sexy stuff, intimate stuff, should be the three of us."

By this time Artie had appeared to have recovered, though Mike felt like he was still trailing behind. When Artie reached out and took Mike's hand, he held it nervously, desperately aware of Tina watching them. _Any minute now, she's going to tell me to get out of here. Any minute now, this is going to be -_ He blinked. "What?"

"You want to join us?" Artie said. Tina nodded, her eyes on Mike's neck. Mike put his other hand to the spot, wondering if there was some kind of bite mark or hickey or something incriminating. Artie squeezed his hand. "How's that sound?"

It took Mike a moment to realize Artie was asking him. "Uh," he said, trying to keep his breathing slow. "Good? Okay?"

"Good," Tina echoed, looking relieved. "Well - you guys can pick up where you left off, if you want to. I don't mind watching. Really." She did seem to be calm, looking back and forth between the two of them with anticipation.

Artie stroked his fingers up Mike's leg, from knee to the edge of his underwear. It was a light touch, enough to make his skin break out into goosebumps. He did it a second time, then a third, and smiled as Mike sucked in a breath.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" he asked, like it was twenty minutes ago and nothing had changed. It felt different, though, thinking about doing it in front of Tina. Mike wasn't sure how to handle that.

"Yes?" he tried.

Tina giggled, leaning in. "Me first." She pressed her lips against Mike, sucking on his lower lip, which was already a little swollen from all the kissing he and Artie had done earlier. It wasn't the first time she'd ever kissed him, but he'd never been this turned on before when she'd done it. Mike heard Artie's murmured, "Oh," and felt his arousal spiral upward, sudden and intense. He gasped into Tina's mouth.

"Yeah," she said, sounding satisfied already. "That's amazing. You ready for Artie now?"

"Stay right there," Artie suggested. Mike felt Artie's hand on Mike's thigh move to cup his balls, already tight and tense against his body. Tina's hand picked up Mike's and placed it over her breast, leaning into his palm. Each new sensation added another layer onto the experience, until he was quivering, trying desperately not to thrust into Artie's grip.

"God, he's hot. Isn't he hot, Artie?" Tina's hand mirrored hers, touching his chest. "So pretty... his body turns me on so much."

"Tina," Mike whined, and felt Artie's hand tighten on his dick, slick and impossibly hard. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Artie's other hand fisting his own erection, squeezing and stroking both of them at the same time. Apparently Artie had no trouble with mutual masturbation. It was like watching porn, except so much better, because he could hear every tense hitch of Artie's breath, and feel the soft touch of Tina's mouth on his cheek, right by his ear.

"You're gonna come, aren't you?" she whispered. "Come on, Mike. Come right in Artie's hand."

"Shit, shit, shit," Artie chanted, his eyes focused on Mike. His jerks became more erratic, and another moment later, Artie was spilling, thick and white, over the curve of his own thumb and fingers.

Mike held his breath and leaned hard on Tina as his orgasm rushed through him like a steam engine. He was so grateful for Artie's hand, and Tina's mouth, kissing him again and again, that he didn't even think to worry about the fact that they were doing this in the middle of Artie's living room.

Mike waited for two or three uncertain seconds while Artie recovered his equilibrium, but even before he saw Artie's dazed smile, he was pretty sure everything was going to be okay. The words Tina had said, they'd made him glow inside, and watching Artie get off to him - _to him_ - had been overwhelming evidence that this might work. Was _going_ to work. He smiled back in relief.

"Wow," he croaked. Tina touched his chin, resting briefly against his shoulder, then sat back, straightening his shirt.

"Two out of three ain't bad," she agreed. She patted Artie's shoulder as he turned an outraged expression on her. "Hey, that wasn't sarcastic. I mean it. You know me, but Mike doesn't. I don't want him to feel rushed or pressured to figure me out. It's a little less obvious how girls want to get off. And besides..." Her eyes flashed humor. "I'll collect from both of you on the next date, one at a time."

Artie produced a box of tissues from the end of the couch, and they both cleaned up as efficiently as they could. They exchanged more than one amused glance as they wiggled and squirmed back into their clothes, and by the end, they were all giggling.

"Hey," said Artie. He put his hand on Mike's leg. "Thanks. That was way more hot than I expected it to be. We're definitely doing that again, okay?"

Mike nodded, feeling a little breathless. "Um, maybe next time, you'd let me help."

"Yeah." Artie's smile broadened. "In any way you want."

That was vague and encouraging. Mike found himself lost in a sea of possibilities. It made him wonder how he could walk away from an orgasm like that and still feel this turned on.

Then they were blinking in the light of the hallway, Ms. Abrams standing there beside them.

"Time's about up, Artie," she said. "I need to take Mike home in ten minutes. Mike, you're welcome over any time I'm here, just as Tina is. Artie, would you open the garage? Tina, why don't I throw your bike into the van and drop you off at your house?"

"Thanks, mom." Artie smiled awkwardly at his mom. "For the, uh, privacy."

"I know I can count on you to be safe," she called over her shoulder. "You deserve it."

They both gave Tina quick kisses goodnight when they got to her house. She climbed out of the van, lifting her bike out the back and wheeling it up the driveway to her garage, and waved.

The ride to Mike's house was surprisingly placid, with no questions or discussion. Even holding hands felt almost ordinary, and when they pulled up to Mike's house, he decided they were far enough away from the front door that he could safely give Artie a kiss good night.

"See you tomorrow," Artie said softly, touching his hair with one hand. Mike just smiled helplessly back.

It wasn't until he was standing in his own hallway, hearing his own mother ask, "Did you have a nice evening?" that Mike started to freak out. Because there was no way he would ever tell her about what had just happened: that he had walked into Artie Abrams' house a guy-virgin and walked out - something else.

Mike rested his head against the door to his room for about fifteen seconds, trying not to hyperventilate, before clasping his phone in both hands and calling Matt. He considered calling Puck, but rejected it. He didn't want to be applauded for sex on the first date; he wanted someone a bit more mature.

"Dude, I need you to come over and tell me everything's the same as it was five hours ago," he demanded. "Right fucking now."

Matt didn't hesitate to say yes, or even bother to ask for details. They both knew exactly how long it would take Matt to run from his back door across the Patterson's yard to Greenbriar Street, go half a block more and arrive on Mike's porch, down to the second. Mike was there waiting for him when he arrived.

"You look the same," Matt assured him. "Any other measurements I should be taking?"

Mike tried to take deep, calming breaths. Rationally, he could see that it wasn't a big deal, that nothing _was_ really different. He wasn't any more or less into guys than he'd already known he was.

"It's just," he tried, letting Matt's arm hold him up, "once you do something, you can't do it over again for the first time. This is it. From now on, I'm always going to have done - that thing."

Matt looked anxious. "It was that bad?"

"It wasn't bad. It was actually really - I think I want this. For real. No," he corrected, dragging at the skin of his temples. "I know I want this, for real."

"Well, that's good then, right?" said Matt, leading him into the kitchen. "To know you were right?"

"I guess. It's just... what the crap? Like, who honestly just _does_ the things I just did?" If it wasn't for the parents on the other side of the window, Mike would probably have been shouting. As it was, he was keeping it down to a dramatic hiss.

Matt raised his eyebrows. "Well, Finn and Puck and Kurt, for starters. And sometimes Santana and Brittany and me, or them and some other random boy they want to show off for. And it's not like you don't know that polyamory is a thing. _You _were the first one to pipe up about that book, when Schue was being a tool before Regionals."

Mike had to agree. Matt pulled up a chair beside him at the table, watching him with a curious expression.

"So you and Artie? You had - sex?"

The images were as fresh and clear in his memory as the steps in his routine for Regionals. "I hate to say Puck was right, but..."

"_Did _you have a condom then?" Matt went on. "Because you kind of ignored Puck. I mean, I guess technically you didn't need it, you can't get Artie pregnant. But you should get used to them, in case you ever date someone where you don't know who they've been with."

"It wasn't that kind of sex. But it still counts! It was still a guy, and, uh. You know. We both..." Mike began to make an illustrative gesture, and stopped abruptly, feeling his face heat up.

"You both what?" Matt sounded amused. "You ever heard the phrase, if you can't talk about it, you shouldn't do it? I suppose that's condescending, or controlling. Not sex-positive enough. But seriously, I shouldn't have to finish your sentences."

"Sometimes it's really easy to tell you're Puck's best friend." Mike snapped.

"That's not an insult, you know. You're just pissy because you, what, touched Artie's dick, and now you're freaking out." Matt grinned. "Don't make me call him right now."

That wasn't exactly a terrifying idea, but Mike closed his mouth and glared at the tabletop for a few minutes.

"So you think this isn't a big deal?" he said finally.

Matt reached out and bumped his fist, gently. "No, it's the biggest. But you can handle it. I'm glad it was Artie, you know, and not some asshole from the Joffrey Ballet who'd pop your cherry and break your heart."

He nodded. "Do you think... would it be totally stupid to want to do it again?"

Matt shook his head. "I'm about the fifth person that should be asked that. First you gotta ask yourself, and then Artie, and then Tina, to make sure she's still fine with everything. Then the owner of the place you're doing it at - and in that case I suggest not here, because your parents will put you in a monastery. But do I, personally, think it's stupid to have sex with someone you like, and think you'll have fun with? Nope."

Again, Mike already knew the answer, but hearing Matt say it out loud, with such matter-of-factness, was a huge relief. "Thanks for helping me talk it out, man."

"It's not so different from that time in second grade when you climbed too high in the spruce tree in your side yard," Matt pointed out, hugging him. "You would have gotten down eventually on your own. I just made it a little easier."


	8. TinaArtieMike

_Chapter 8: Tina/Artie/Mike_

Artie's mom had barely rounded the corner before Tina was walking right out the door of her family room, back into the garage, picking up her bike and coasting down the road toward Mercedes' again. She was far too awake and alive with questions to be able to sleep right now. Chances were good that Mercedes would still be awake.

She was, although Kurt had gone home. She didn't seem all that surprised to see Tina on her porch, either.

"What's the verdict?" she asked, holding open the screen door. "Anybody going to be mad at anybody else Monday morning at school?"

"I think Quinn will hate the universe just a little bit more, if her reaction to Kurt and Puck and Finn is the standard." Tina sank into one of Mercedes' overstuffed chairs, relaxing back and gazing up at the ceiling.

"And you?" Mercedes prompted.

"I'm about one part squealing fangirl, two parts awed witness to a miracle. Not to mention unsatisfied." She smirked to see Mercedes' frantic hand-flailing.

"TMI, TMI, _please."_

"This is going to be _unbelievable,_" Tina whispered. "I don't even know how to tell you how hot it was. The two of them together, and kissing in front of them. And everything. I'm never going to look at that shirt Mike was wearing the same way again." She touched her own hand to her chest. "I wasn't just getting something I wanted. I was getting _that thing_ that made everything _awesome,_ and I didn't even _know_ I wanted it."

Mercedes looked wearily resigned. "You're going to be like a born-again Christian. I can already tell you're going to proselytize to me all summer about the virtues of polyamory, just like Kurt did."

"Not _all _summer."

"No? You gonna calm down in August when Mike's busy and away all day doing football training?"

For a second the mental image of Mike, glistening with perspiration, his hair matted from his helmet and those impossibly long legs in tight white cloth, was as easy to see as the painting over Mercedes' fireplace. "Oh god, I forgot about that. Wow. No, I can pretty much guarantee you desperate flailing at that point. I meant in July. Me and Mike are signed up to be counselors at Asian camp. Can't preach at you if I'm not in town."

"Thank God for small miracles." Mercedes actually looked concerned for a moment. "You and Mike, alone, without Artie? You really think that's going to be okay with him?"

"I know. I mean, I _don't_ know. None of this was in the plan, okay? An actual relationship, with actual hand jobs -"

"TMI!"

"- so I guess we'll just have to negotiate that?" Tina sat with that reality for a long moment, feeling suddenly tired. "I think I'd better go home. It's late."

Mercedes stood at the door and watched Tina ride away. It was a good thing she lived so close, and there weren't any major streets between their neighborhoods. By the time she parked her bike for the second time, she was stumbling. Even so, she managed to type out one little group text to both Artie and Mike as she was brushing her teeth: _Hope you guys are doing okay. Thinking of both of you. _There was no answer, but she knew they'd see it eventually, and she could bet it would make them both smile.

* * *

"So. That happened," Artie said when he and his mom were safely back in the kitchen with no real distractions.

"Yeah, it did. You want to use a few more words? Show off your script writing ability?"

"Uh." It wasn't that he didn't. He just had to figure out how to start. His mom watched him calmly, not pressuring him.

"You don't have to, Artie. I think you should think about it, and I am willing to listen if you need to talk it through. But you're sixteen, and I won't force you to talk."

"Can I have a smoothie?"

She smiled, getting up again. "Oh, it's like that, is it? I made a batch of pear banana after work. I'm pretty sure there's some left. It would be a sad day in the Abrams universe if we ever ran out."

"Pear banana? Is that the kind with the hidden spinach?"

"Honey, about half of them have hidden spinach."

"I didn't need my illusions shattered like that, ma."

"Can you taste it? No? Then shut up and drink it." She plunked the cup down in front of him. It was a normal sized glass, not a novelty one.

Artie chewed on the tip of the straw. As always, the coolness sliding down his throat somehow aligned his brain with his words. He wasn't even half done before he was ready to talk. "I think I'm kinda thrown by it all. Like, I didn't think I'd be as gay as I am?"

"Honey, do we need to talk about how that statement's sort of messed up? Or have you already unpacked that?"

"Hey, come on. Don't gimme that. I was one of Kurt's first friends. Like within days of joining Glee, when it was only the five of us. I know at least five bi people now, and at least three solidly gay people. And VilePresent93 from XBox Live asks us to use neutral pronouns like _they_ or _zie_, so I'm pretty sure something's up with them." He shrugged. "I wouldn't have cared if I was gay, I just never figured I was. But I guess I am. Or bi, I suppose."

"Okay, granted." She smiled fondly at him. "Implication of intolerance withdrawn. I just had to check."

Artie grinned back. "I'll take that as an apology."

"So is that all this is? And I don't mean all as a belittling word. But is that your main thought? How much you have to reorient yourself with this new knowledge, or if you do at all?"

He thought about that. "It's part of it," he decided finally. "I don't know about main. I mean, I don't want this to turn into some Avril Lavigne to-your-own-body-be-true thing, but I'm kinda surprised I gave it up? Don't get me wrong, it wasn't everything. But I started off like a picky eater dutifully tasting artichokes. Like, 'I don't think this will work, but I appreciate the effort, and I will try it just to prove that I accept that _you_ like it'. But then... it was _good._ It was really, surprisingly good. And all of a sudden I was chowing down, when the plan had been two bites and then politely spit the rest into the napkin. Then Tina showed up, which was great, like adding melted butter to every bite. But it turns out I wouldn't have needed that to mask the experience. I was enjoying Mike just fine by himself, and it all went really fast. I could have easily eaten another whole artichoke." He coughed. "Melted butter not being any kind of a metaphor for anything."

His mom didn't bother to hide her grin. "I've got multiple replies to that. Starting with one: is it weird that I know exactly what Avril Lavigne song you're referring to? I really didn't think I listened to that much popular radio at work, but I guess I do. Two: artichokes are proof that God exists, and that He has excellent taste. Three: it's always, _always_ okay to say stop. Or slow down. If you're with someone who doesn't get that, chuck them out the nearest window. I thought you knew that."

"I do," Artie insisted. "But it was the surprise of it. I didn't think to program a stopping point, because I'd assumed that I'd want to stop after an uninspired kiss. It wasn't like Tina. I've already got Tina's boundaries fixed in my head."

"I'm going to give you some particularly obvious advice. Think about it now. Talk to Mike about how far he's genuinely ready to go, even if it's awkward. But before you do, _you _think about how far _you're_ willing to go. When you're sober, level headed, do you want him to penetrate you? Do you want to do that to him? You don't have to tell me, but I'm willing to hear it. I'm not embarrassed by some graphic stuff, you know that."

"Yes," Artie had to admit, "you are spectacularly embarrassment-proof."

"So you don't have to let me know - although you can - but you _have_ to know it yourself. And once you do, you probably won't find yourself pulling off a condom going, 'How did that happen?' Because that, my son, is a terrible feeling, even if it was fun at the time." She paused, then patted his shoulder. "Need a refill?"

* * *

"You're seriously going on a second date?"

"Yeah," Mike nodded in case the word mumbled around his mouthful of rice wasn't clear enough.

Jordan put down his pork gyoza. Mike didn't think much of the action, as Jordan had been eating it reluctantly anyway. But then he pushed Mike's lunchbox aside.

"When is this going to stop?"

"What?"

"This whole thing. When is it going to stop?" Jordan shook his head. "It's messed up."

Mike reached for his lunchbox with matching irritation. "No, it's not. Pass me my lunch back."

"No. I don't need you distracted by your funky sauce when you need to listen to me. It is _messed up,_ dude. Everyone is using you. Hudson and Hummel and Puckerman are using your personality to manipulate you to fighting their battles for them. Tina's using you for some live action Yaoi. Artie's using you as a test."

"Shut up." It wasn't true. Mike had thought those things once or twice, but they weren't true. They were the kind of things his dad would attack with, if Mike would ever be stupid enough to tell him about his life. "You sound like my dad."

"Fuck you," Jordan replied, taking it for the insult it was. "I'm not trying to bring you down. You're my friend. Just... it was funny before, you being so sweet and earnest and shit. It's not funny anymore. You went in with a clear head, knowing this was an act. Then you had sex, and now you think it's true love? It's a classic virgin mistake."

"Well, there's your disproof," said Mike, trying to look confident as he tossed out the lie. "Who's a virgin? Brittany, August. Same as half the Titans, probably."

"Nope. Still counts: first time with a guy. Look, I'm not saying I care if you bang dudes. I don't. I don't even care if you keep on helping Artie cheat on Tina since she didn't seem to care anyway. Just..." He folded the rest of his lunch primly and fastened it shut. "Wisen up. These dates are putting blinders on you."

Mike's first instinct was to shout that maybe he wanted to be blind. But that wasn't right. That would be agreeing with Jordan, just saying he didn't care. Mike didn't agree with Jordan, not at all. Pretending he did to not make waves would be self-sabotage. Over the last eight months Glee had taught him it was better to fight. He glared at Jordan.

"I thought you were my friend, but I guess you're just an asshole." Mike slammed the lid of his lunch box closed, not giving a shit that the containers inside it were still open and probably slopping everywhere. He wasn't going to stick around one moment longer, listening to this _I-know-better-than-you-son_ poison.


	9. even more Tina

_Chapter 9: Tina_

Tina could tell something had gone wrong by the way Mike stormed up to her in the lunch line. She touched him lightly, not knowing yet whether Mike was the kind of guy who wanted someone to throw their arms around him or to leave him alone when he was mad. "Hey."

He was scowling, huffing through his nose. "I can't believe some people."

"Yep," she agreed. "That's pretty much life, right there."

"Just, why do they have to be so _stupid?_ And judgmental, and mean, and..." He zeroed in on Artie across the room, watching him talk to Puck. "The three of us need to go out together. Tonight." He glanced back at Tina. "Are you busy?"

"Uh," she said, thinking fast, "well, it's a school night, so I couldn't be out too late, but... if I did my homework right after school, I think my parents might let me go."

"Great." Mike kissed her cheek, like a punctuation mark. Then he strode determinedly across the lunchroom toward Artie and slide into a seat across from him. He seemed completely focused on what he was doing, not self-conscious at all of the way Artie's hand reached over to grasp his. Artie smiled, nodding, and Mike smiled back, before leaning over to kiss Artie's cheek just the way he had Tina's. It made her smile even more.

When Tina joined them at the table, carrying her tray, Artie reached over and stole his usual tater tot with an anticipatory grin. "You already asked her, right?"

"Of course," said Mike. "Now we need a plan. Dinner and ice cream?"

"Board games at my house?" Artie countered.

Tina smiled at both her boyfriends. "Mike, you have a license. I say we borrow Artie's van and go park it somewhere."

Artie's smile froze on his face, like someone had thrown a slushie on him. "Uh..."

"And... look up at the stars?" Mike ventured tentatively.

"I was thinking more like take off as many clothes as we can get away with."

Puck clapped slowly. "You are a woman with a plan I can get behind."

Tina was shocked for a moment by Puck's response; in the midst of the conversation with Artie and Mike, she'd forgotten there were other people at the end of the table. "Thanks. Not that it's any of your business, but... thanks."

"Well, actually. Speaking from experience, cart-walkers don't like when you fuck someone in the middle of a parking lot. So I recommend against Kroger."

Artie chuckled. "Good advice. I'm sure we can find a back lane or something. Since we're apparently _not _stargazing, or otherwise enjoying the outdoors.._._"

"Hey, there is zero need for having public sex, unless you get off on that. You guys can just go to my dad's old place." Puck made an expansive throwaway gesture, like his dad somehow owned the northern third of Ohio. "There's nobody there. Trust me, it's romantic as all fuck. Me and Kurt, we lost our mutual virginity there, and it was awesome."

"Your romanticism astounds me. And what about Finn? Don't tell me you were able to convince him to have semi-public outdoor sex."

"Yep. On every picnic table in Lima." Puck flashed a wicked grin as Mike paled. "Park there or don't. Whatever. I'm just trying to help."

"It sounds perfect," Tina broke in. "Text me directions." She smiled at Mike and Artie with satisfaction. "Now we just need wheels."

Artie's mom took some convincing, but when Mike sat down with her and earnestly described his spotless driving record, as well as the time last summer when he drove his family's car for a hundred and thirty miles on their summer trip to the Grand Tetons, she finally nodded and handed him the keys.

"I promise, not a scratch," Mike told her for the thirty-seventh time. "Back by eleven. Thank you, Ms. Abrams."

Tina would have accused anyone else of laying it on a little thick, but she knew that was actually the way Mike had been conditioned to behave around adults. And even though she was sure Ms. Abrams could tell Mike was fawning a little, she also knew that grown-ups ate that stuff up when it was directed at them by trustworthy, upstanding kids.

As soon as Mike rounded the corner and was alone with her in the hallway, she grabbed him for a seriously raunchy kiss. It made him squeak a little, then lose most of his muscle tone, and finally kiss her back with just as much enthusiasm.

"You're amazing, you know that?" Tina told him breathlessly.

Mike laughed, looking overwhelmed. "Yeah?"

She rolled her eyes, grabbing his hand and tugging him into Artie's room, where they found him changing his shirt. "Artie," she announced, "Mike doesn't know how amazing he is."

"Oh, yeah," Artie nodded, "I could have told you that."

Mike sat on the edge of Artie's bed, looking more pink than taupe. "I don't really know how to react to that."

Artie wheeled around so he was in front of Mike, reaching out to touch his knee. He didn't exactly have abs like Mike, or biceps like Puck, but Tina thought he looked pretty hot without his shirt on. "Mike's one of those guys who feels really ordinary, even though he can do a zillion things that other people can't, and he's really good at lots of them. He's convinced he's never going to make his parents happy, and so he's certain he's failed at being a good kid - even though the object of being a kid isn't actually to make your parents happy."

Now Mike looked confused, and a little anxious. "You don't think so?"

"Nope," Artie said. "You get to grow up and move out and make your own decisions eventually, and all the ones your parents don't agree with, they won't have any way to tell you differently."

Mike shook his head. "Not in the Asian community. I'm pretty sure my mom's mom will still be telling her what to do when she's dead."

It was kind of true, but Tina wasn't going to leave Artie to deliver this impromptu speech on his own. She sat on the bed beside Mike, taking his hand. "I think what he means is, you're not actually all that ordinary. You're amazing. Which was my original point, so." She leaned over and kissed him. "You ready for this date?"

"I think so." He looked so tentative, so vulnerable, which Tina knew wasn't actually what Mike was like most of the time. The idea that Mike might be willing to be that way around her and Artie, that he might trust them that much, made her feel a little like crying and a little like climbing on top of him.

"You can totally say no to anything," Artie told him, squeezing his knee. Mike touched his hand, grinning.

"I don't think I'm the one likely to say no."

"Whatever. Any of us. I think we'd all be okay with _slow down,_ or _yuck,_ or _not right now."_

_Speak for yourself,_ Tina almost said. Watching the two of them make shy-boy eyes at each other was totally turning her on. She helped Mike off Artie's bed, then chose a slightly too small t-shirt for Artie to wear. Mike didn't look away from Artie the whole time as he pulled it on over his head, smoothing it over his ribs, and they smiled at each other for a little too long.

"Come on." She tugged on both their hands. "We've got to get out of here now, or else we're never going to leave this room."

The address Puck texted her was about fifteen minutes north of Lima, kind of in the middle of nowhere. Mike didn't seem to have any anxiety about navigating the big van across town, in any case, so Tina gave him the directions as they drove.

She hadn't brought up the condoms in her pocket, nor the lube, nor the wet wipes, but she figured they'd be there at which time they felt necessary. She and Artie hadn't used them, but they hadn't yet had the kind of sex that involved his penis inside her, other than her mouth - and they'd decided pretty much first thing that neither of them wanted to use condoms for that. Now that it was the three of them, though, Tina didn't want to assume anything.

She waited until they were about halfway there to ask the next question. "Mike, have you been tested for STI's?"

"Uh -" He blinked, looking over at her like he was shocked. She sighed.

"Don't give me that. This is responsible dating. You're the one who's had other partners; I don't even know who they all were. I'm not asking, either. I just want to make sure we're all safe."

He nodded. "Yeah... of course. You're right. I was just... I mean, I've done stuff, but I haven't had - sex? Not like that, where I might have caught something."

"Really?" Artie sounded surprised. "I thought I heard that you and Brit..."

Mike hunched over the steering wheel, his face obviously red even in the darkness of the van. "I... might have told a couple people that. But, uh, I didn't. I didn't want to. I like Brit, you know, but... she wasn't the right person."

"Turn here," Tina pointed, and Mike put his blinkers on even though there was nobody on the dirt road. They rounded a corner and slowed in front of what looked like an empty field.

"Is this it?" Mike asked doubtfully, inching forward. "He said there was a pond. Do you see a pond? Oh, yeah, there." He shrugged. "I guess we go in?"

There was no house, just an open clearing beside the pond, with a picnic table and some old rusted-out tractors, overgrown with weeds. The frogs were seriously having a party already. Tina helped Artie back into his chair and used the lift to let him out onto the grass.

"This is nice," he said, wheeling around. "You're going to have to help me over this tall patch, and then I think I can make it on my own."

"I never mind pushing your chair," Mike said. Artie smiled up at him.

"I just like showing off my arm muscles, pushing myself."

"Oh, kiss him, for god's sake," Tina muttered, and Mike cracked up. Artie raised his eyebrows at Mike and opened his arms.

"Come sit in my lap?" he offered.

Mike's eyes went wide, and his laugh was abruptly cut off, but he settled himself carefully onto Artie's legs. "I feel like I'm going to hurt you."

"Give it up, Mike. You're not that heavy. The worst thing you can do by sitting on top of me is give me a hard-on."

Tina opened up the back doors of the van, snickering as she leaned in to fold the seats into the floor. "That wouldn't be such a bad thing either."

"Not bad at all," Artie agreed. When Tina turned around again, the boys were kissing, Mike's hands cupping Artie's face. Artie had taken his glasses off. She took her time spreading the heavy camping blanket over the floor of the van, giving them an opportunity to have a little time together. She wasn't going to let them have much of that later; not this time. She'd been patient enough.

When Artie leaned back from the kiss, she was right there behind him, guiding Mike's head up to hers. His surprised-happy noises were seriously delicious.

"Why'd you lie about having sex with Brit?" she asked.

The way Artie was stroking Mike's leg, dipping into the long, lean curve of his knee and back out again, Mike appeared almost too glassy-eyed to focus on the question, but he managed to formulate a response. "That was the summer before sophomore year, before Glee. Before I let myself dance in front of anybody, other than Matt. I mostly wanted to fit in." He shook his head, looking bemused. "I... think I've come a long way since then. Even if I still just want people not to notice me sometimes."

"Yeah, you definitely have," Artie agreed. He ran his hands up Mike's torso, looking entirely too pleased at Mike's reaction. "I think you've got two people right here who are all about noticing you. If that's okay."

"It's okay," Mike said. He touched his forehead to Tina's. "I don't feel like I have to lie to you. Either of you. I can just be myself, be honest about what I am, what I want."

She tipped her face up to his, kissing him gently at first, then more fervently. "We all get to say what we want. I bet we could come up with something that would be amazing for all of us. So, any requests?"

Mike looked from Tina to Artie and back again, biting his lip. "Tina. I - I want you to show me what you like. How to make you come."

"That sounds like a _perfect_ idea," she agreed, smiling broadly. Judging from Artie's impatient squirming, she guessed he thought so, too.

"Fuck, yeah," Artie muttered. "Watching you go down on Tina... talk about giving me a hard-on."

"Yeah, um, speaking of that..." Mike leaned on Artie's shoulder, picking at the snap on his jeans. "I'd really like to... go down on you, too. If you wanted that."

Artie hesitated, but he was smiling. "Would that be in a blowjobby kind of way or a tongue-in-my-ass kind of way?"

"The first one," Mike replied quickly, hiding behind his hand. "God. I hadn't even thought of the other one."

"No?" Artie grinned bigger. "Never?"

"Well, I have _now."_

Tina smoothed her fingers through Mike's silky hair. "Don't get all freaked out. It's just more stuff to try. You don't have to want to do it all. I'm pretty sure I don't want anybody's tongue in my ass."

"But maybe other places?" Artie said, nudging her.

"Oh, definitely other places. And this blowjob, Mike? That I want to see."

She knew it was easier to get Artie's jeans off him when he was lying down, but the idea of Mike kneeling in front of his chair was something she couldn't pass up. Mike let Artie circle his arms around his neck and lift himself up while she stripped Artie's jeans down his legs. Artie's arms were definitely his best feature, if she was going to objectify him. Or possibly his eyes, which currently were blinking and wide, focused on Mike settling down between his thighs.

Mike ran his hands up Artie's hips, looking for that sweet spot where sensation began and ended. Sometimes it was unpleasant for Artie to be touched in those in-between places, but Artie didn't look uncomfortable now. His cock stirred when Mike leaned against his knee, and Mike glanced up in surprise. "You can feel that?"

"No," Artie said softly, gazing at Mike. "Just... watching you, there. That's turning me on."

Mike colored, a stupid smile crossing his face. Tina guessed she wore essentially the same expression. "Yeah, me too. I've been thinking about this a lot."

_Me too,_ Tina thought, but she wasn't going to interrupt their moment, not yet. Artie sucked in a breath as Mike leaned in and kissed the sparse hair of his inner thigh. He leaned back, scooting down to allow Mike better access. "Okay, I can feel that."

"Good." Mike gave him a tentative smile, then returned to making progress up his leg, until he was landing shallow breaths on Artie's cock. "You sure this is -?"

"Yeah," said Artie, his voice tense with want, "yeah, come on, Mike, your mouth."

Mike paused for just one more moment before letting his tongue dart out, taking a careful lick, and Artie murmured approval. Tina wanted to intervene, to take Artie in one hand and feed him into Mike's mouth with the other. The idea of it was enough to accelerate herself toward orgasm number one. Sitting in the back of the van, her legs swinging free, she could both touch Artie's neck with one hand and reach the other hand under her skirt.

"Mike," she said, seeing him hesitate again.

"Yeah?"

"Just do it. You're not going to hurt him. Suck his dick."

Mike and Artie let out simultaneous moans, and Tina smiled, gripping Artie's shoulder. She loved that they wanted it, loved that they were going for it, even without her encouragement - but that they_ liked_ her encouragement made it so much hotter. She rocked against her hand, letting a finger slip just barely inside.

Mike was definitely taking her advice, using his hand to wrap around the base of Artie's cock, then guiding it to his mouth and letting his lips close around the head. He made his own surprised-pleased noises, and with each bob forward took a little more of Artie into his mouth, until in a surprisingly short amount of time he'd swallowed all of him. Tina could feel Artie's shoulders tense under her hand.

"Oh my god," he muttered, "oh my _god,_ Mike, oh my god."

Mike backed off, looking up at him. "Is that okay? Too much?"

"_No,"_ he said emphatically. "You're deep-throating me and you're asking me if it's _okay?_ How do you _do_ that?"

"Um... I don't know?" Mike let out a nervous giggle, leaning back in. "I have a big mouth? So can I...?"

He didn't wait for Artie's reply, settling his mouth back over his cock with a contented hum. Artie's eyes slipped closed. His responses became increasingly louder, but there in the middle of Puck's dad's vacant lot, it didn't much matter. Tina rocked harder against her hand as she watched Artie, watching Mike as he swallowed Artie down with growing confidence and enthusiasm.

"Mike loves this," she said, because there was no doubt that Mike did, and also because she knew Artie wanted to hear her say it. Artie reached forward and touched Mike's head, gently, not at all demanding, but with reverence.

"I have no idea how I came to deserve this," Artie said, his voice shaky, "but I'm so grateful. And you're going to make me come in about three seconds."

Mike's only response was to take Artie deeper down his throat, and Artie must either have read that as permission or given up trying to resist because he threw his head back and groaned. Mike didn't hesitate once, making little gulps amid quiet moans, swallowing as best as he could. Just listening was almost pornographic. It gave Tina a tremendous charge. She considered finishing herself off, but she backed off at the last minute, dropping her hand to her thigh with a pleased sigh.

"That was the hottest thing," she said, reaching around to take Mike's hands and tug him to his feet. When she put her arms around him to hold him close, she could feel how hard he was, every shudder of his body as he pressed against her. She tasted the familiar tang of Artie on his tongue when she kissed him. "I think you thought so, too."

"Yeah, wow." Mike blinked down at Artie, still sprawled, half-comatose, in his chair. He brushed his fingers against Artie's bare thigh. "That was... amazing. I can't even explain it."

"Words, not important. Baby, you ready to move into the van?" She saw Artie's vague nod, and she and Mike each took one side of Artie and lifted him in. Tina didn't bother to suggest he put his pants back on. She ditched her skirt before climbing in after him and knelt over Artie, kissing him hard, enjoying the sensation of skin against skin. "So that was pretty good for you, huh?"

"Pretty good," he agreed, red-faced and grinning. "If by that you mean _oh my god."_

"Is it funny that I don't feel at all threatened by Mike giving better blowjobs than I do?" she asked. "Because all I feel is kind of smug."

They both turned to watch Mike crawling in beside them. He settled against the wall of the van, arms propped on his knees, flushed and grinning shyly.

"Dude," said Artie, sounding offended. "You have way too many pants on."

They descended on his legs, each of them tugging on one cuff, hauling them down to his ankles and finally tossing them out the back of the van entirely to land in a pile on the grass. Tina only got to admire Mike's bikini briefs for a moment before Artie got rid of those, too.

"Now it's my turn to watch." Artie manually rearranged his own legs so they were crossed, and leaned back against the opposite wall of the van from Mike, smiling at the two of them.

Tina sat close to Mike, wondering how fast she could go for his cock without seeming completely desperate. With Artie, she knew it could have been immediately, even without any conversation at all, but Mike might need more confidence-building before he was ready to -

"Your turn," he breathed, pushing her down onto the blanket.

_Well, that answered that question._ She welcomed him on top of her, the feel of his muscled back, his firm abs, the pulse of his cock against her leg before he slid down to kneel between her thighs. He looked as eager to proceed as he had with Artie. It made her dizzy and breathless.

"Any tips?"

It took Tina a moment to realize Mike was talking to Artie. She was about to retort herself, but then Mike's mouth descended on her and his tongue was - oh - and she had no words, that was just _so -_

"Soft and steady," Artie told him, "and if you're going to stop in the middle, don't forget _exactly_ where you left off." He sounded somewhat breathless himself, and when she looked over she could see he was half-hard again, holding himself in his hand and giving himself occasional squeezes.

"Just like that," she whispered hoarsely, "like that, oh, please, Mike, your fingers."

She wasn't being very specific, but Mike seemed to understand what she was saying anyway. His tentative touches took her very quickly from_ that feels so good_ to _god more now._ She grabbed his hand, trapping it against her, and thrust harder against him, making him feel how much she wanted it.

"_More,"_ she insisted.

"That means add another finger and do her harder," Artie suggested. He was fully erect now, stroking himself as he watched them intently. "God, that's hot. But don't stop with your tongue."

It wasn't exactly silent in the van, not with the little noises of three people's inhalations and exhalations, and the wet sounds of Mike's mouth on her, and Artie's hand stroking faster, and the occasional exclamation. Tina's own sounds were coming more frequently, her hips tipping up against each stroke of Mike's gentle tongue.

"So good," Artie murmured. His hand reached out and rested on her stomach, moving up to brush the side of her breast. She waited about five seconds before taking the hand and putting it directly on her nipple, and he chuckled, twisting and tugging the way she liked just before she was about to come.

"Oh, Mike - don't stop, don't stop, oh my god -" She reached out with both hands, clutching at each of them, and didn't bother to restrain the bucking of her hips as she ground up against Mike's waiting mouth. He stayed with her, taking Artie's advice literally: _don't stop with your tongue. _

_A+ for Mike,_ she thought, panting.

"Well done, man," Artie said with a soft smile. "You're a natural."

Mike sat back on his heels, smiling back, wiping his mouth on the edge of his discarded shirt, and touched Tina's thigh. "That was okay?"

"Oh, yeah," she sighed happily. "Come here?"

He figured out that she meant for him to lie down on top of her, which he did gingerly at first, then finally settled down with a shaky breath. "Wow, that feels - maybe a little too good. I'm trying not to do anything unsafe here."

"As long as you don't actually come _inside _me, you're good. Anyway, I'm not ovulating right now. I'm not Finn; I know my facts about conception." She squirmed around a little, appreciating Mike's groans. "And you get whatever you want, but I was kind of thinking I should return the blowjob favor, since you've been so generous with your amazing mouth."

Mike's breathing hitched as his cock dragged over the wet skin of her thighs. "Okay, yes, that sounds fantastic."

"Or you guys could do that intercrural thing." Artie hadn't really stopped jerking off since moving into the van, but he hadn't been very goal-oriented, stroking himself in a relaxed and lazy way. Now he'd started to pick up the tempo again, to become more focused with his actions. "Mike on top, or behind you."

"That wouldn't feel unfair?" Mike paused, shifting over so he was lying between Artie and Tina. The van wasn't really long enough for him to stretch out, but Mike didn't seem to mind that his legs stuck out the end of the hitch. He leaned over to kiss Artie for a while, his hand coming down so they were both jacking off in tandem. Tina wasn't sure what to keep her eyes on; it was all so, so hot.

"You guys can do this _anytime_ you want," she promised. "And why would the intercrural be unfair? Because Artie can't do it? Isn't that just one thing on a kind of long list of things?"

"I'm trying to be sensitive," Mike protested. Artie claimed his mouth again, harder this time - and Tina was suddenly ready to go, more than ready. She reached over and hauled Mike back on top of her, crossing her ankles.

"Here's where you get to be grateful for my dancer's thighs," she said. She reached down and slipped his cock between them, pointing it down, away from any parts that might be compromised by condomless friction. The expression on his face was priceless. She giggled. "Feel good?"

"So good," he assured her, sounding overwhelmed again, "oh, _yeah,_ good... Tina..."

She thrust harder and tucked a hand into the slick channel of her own thighs, the sound of Mike's gasps driving her closer to the edge, and pressed her mouth to his ear. "Just imagine how good it would feel if you were actually inside me."

That was pretty much the end for all three of them. It didn't matter who actually came first (or second, in the case of Artie and Tina), but three minutes later, they were all snuggled up close in a sticky, sweaty heap, and Mike was holding Artie's hand, and Tina was still giggling.

"You guys make sex _fun,"_ she said. "And I don't mean that in a goofy, lighthearted way. I mean that in a that's-the-way-it-should-be way."

"I resemble that goofy lighthearted remark," Artie pointed out.

Mike smiled, leaning over to kiss him. "Neither goofy nor lighthearted are things I ever learned how to pull off. I kind of admire you for both of them."

They used Tina's wet wipes to clean up a little before throwing on essential clothes and settling outside on a blanket on the grass to do some actual stargazing. She knew they only had a little time before the mosquitoes would eat them alive, but she couldn't bear not taking the opportunity to be outside after having sex with her boyfriends. Not to mention Mike knew an awful lot about constellations.

"I'm still having aftershocks," she informed them. Artie groaned.

"Don't turn me on again," he pleaded. "I don't think I can handle it. I'm usually a come-once-and-done guy. I'm already going to be chafed in the morning."

"Poor baby." She tilted her head to kiss the closest available skin on him, which happened to be his forearm. "Tomorrow at my house for dinner, right?"

Mike sighed, resting his head on Tina's stomach. "Guys, eventually my parents are going to catch on to this business of the three of us together, and that's going to be bad news for us."

"So we'll get somebody to cover you. Finn, probably? You can have dinner at his house, can't you?"

"I don't know. My parents keep blacklisting the guys I can spend time with. All my friends are turning out to be kind of gay."

Tina stroked the side of his neck. "Like you, maybe?"

"Yeah," Mike said softly. "Kind of."

"Me too." Artie wiggled Mike's clasped hand. "Maybe everybody is, kind of."

"Well, speaking on behalf of the only not-kind-of-gay member of our triad," said Tina, "I'm very grateful you guys haven't completely defected to the XY team."

"Oh, come on," Artie said. "Don't tell me you've never thought about girls? Girls are _amazing. _And you really shouldn't rule it out. I didn't know I wanted _this_ until I had it, either."

"Thought about it, yes. I think I'd have to actually be in the situation before I really knew if I wanted it or not." She let all her breath out in a contented sigh. "Trust me, I'm perfectly happy with what we have, right here."


	10. still more Mike

_Chapter 10: Mike_

Mike was willing to be the last in line as Artie and Tina picked what they wanted from the concession. He needed an extra minute or two to figure out what he wanted. At the normal theatre it was easy: a small popcorn shared with Jordan, who'd insist on paying a quarter for extra butter topping. But this was a indie theatre. They didn't have normal concession foods. Twizzlers were far too mainstream. Everything was vegan this and wheatless that.

Mike hadn't even known Lima had an indie theatre until Artie had demanded to take them both to a double feature showing of _The Addams Family_ and _Addams Family Values._ Tina had been over the moon at the idea, and stunned that Mike had never seen something so integral to her childhood. Mike went willingly. If they both wanted something, he was up for it. But from the kids in suspenders who pushed their way in the building first, to all the art hanging instead of movie posters, to the ticket seller having a goddamn typewriter instead of a book or phone to kill time with, it had become clear he wasn't nearly cool enough to hang out in this place.

"I'll have some of that watermelon taffy?" Tina requested.

"The coal-fire-cooked, hand-pulled taffy?" the cashier retorted smugly.

"Um, yeah? I guess. That one," Tina pointed at the small tub of green and pink wrappers. "Five bucks worth."

The cashier turned and began scooping the candy into a cellophane bag. He twisted the bag and wrapped a ribbon around the tightened material before plunking it onto the mosaic tiled counter. Tina began to open her black leather clutch and the cashier reached out and touched her wrist.

"No no no. Make your boyfriend be a gentleman," he said, gesturing to Mike.

"I can pay if you want," Mike said quickly. The cashier had a point, after all. It was just mannerly to cover a date's expenses.

"No, it's fine," Tina said. "I got it."

She handed over a bill, then stood to the side as Artie bought a bag of locally sourced potato shaving chip things. Mike looked at the shelves of choices and went the easy way; a bag of the same chips Artie had, and some coconut taffy. That way, even if the four hours of movie didn't thrill him the same way it obviously did both of them, he'd at least have the snacks to talk about.

They were halfway down the aisle when Tina shook her head. "Mike, can you help Artie park? I have to go do a thing."

"Seeing if you can get a refund, to switch out watermelon for something actually tasty?" Artie asked.

Tina stopped a few steps away to answer him. "You have a watermelon hate?"

"It's the flavour my dentist always uses for fluoride. Freaking gross."

"No, it's not that. I'm happy with what I bought. I'm just not happy with who sold it to me." With that explanation she resumed her walk back up the aisle.

Mike kicked down one of the break flippers so he could walk around and look Artie in the face. "She's gonna make a scene, isn't she."

"Hey, she can handle a scene. I'm pretty sure Figgins still thinks she's a vampire."

He glanced up the aisle uneasily. "Should we leave her to it?"

"Hey, I don't know about you, but I want to watch. This theatre doesn't have a pre-trailer show."

Mike toed the flipper back up and swung Artie's chair around. It wasn't the easiest manuever, it was against gravity, and the slope was covered with a plush carpeting runner, but Mike managed it. And if he jogged Artie up the aisle, so what? None of the hipster patrons were watching them anyway.

Back in the concession area, Mike had to wonder if it still counted as being proven right when the statement he'd made was super obvious. There Tina was, practically shouting at the cashier.

"Let's not even get started on the fact that, when I'm clustered around two guys in line, you assume I'm dating the other Asian one. I don't even care about the race thing right now. Let's focus on how sexist you are, saying that I can't acquire my own resources. Let's focus on how classist it is to assume that you can only be a good man if you pay for your partner's things. Let's focus on how monogamous-minded it is to say that, in a group of one girl and two boys, the relationship configuration is automatically one girl dating one boy." Tina tapped his chest with the corner of her leather clutch. "You have anything to say for yourself?"

The cashier hadn't put down his attitude. "Just that I'm not sure what crawled up your social justice warrior fag hag butt, but since you've already bought your ticket, why don't you go sit down and watch _Addams Family_ and shut up?"

Mike wanted to facepalm, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. He suddenly understood the reason some people standing on the edge of a parking lot brawl took out their phones to record it. That level of passionate destruction deserved to be commemorated. Shit was about to get real, and he'd bet anything that most of the rest of the theater patrons were watching too.

"If by social justice warrior you mean a person who knows the difference between intelligence and ignorance, well, no shit, Sherlock." She smacked him with the clutch again. "I am a strong independent woman. I need no man to hold my hand and pay my way. And that includes both my boyfriends."

"Both?" He sneered. "Kind of a slut, aren't -"

He stopped because Tina was half over the counter, nose inches from his own. "You don't want to finish that sentence. I might have razors in my hair. What you do want to do is show me and my two _lovers_ a bit of respect. And consider having respect for future patrons." Refusing to let the employee have the last word, Tina strode back across the lobby to where Mike was waiting.

"You're kind of terrifying, oh girlfriend who doesn't need me in any way shape or form," Artie commented blithely.

"Thank you," Tina reached out and took both of their hands, holding them tight. "And shut up. I may not need you, but I want you, which should matter even more."

It did, at least in Mike's book. His family and community and culture needed him. Artie and Tina wanted him. That was way better.


	11. still more Tina

_Chapter 11: Tina_

"I want to sleep with you," Tina murmured, nuzzling Mike's neck. She pulled Artie's hand over the pile of theirs. "Both of you."

Artie tipped his head back, smiling lazily at them. "That's a pretty forward proposition."

"I really just meant _sleep._ As in a bed, together. It won't be happening at Mike's house, so that leaves yours or mine, and my bed's a single. So..." She raised hopeful eyebrows. When Artie sighed, she furrowed them. "I mean, hey, don't make me drag you into anything you don't want to do."

"No! You know that's not what I think." Artie gave her an impatient, amused glare. "I'm all about the sleeping together. I just know my mom's going to want to give me another extended talk about responsibility and - okay, I love my mom, and she's really cool, but there's only so many times I can hear her talking about how to take a condom off the right way?"

Mike was blushing, but he snickered. "I don't know what I'd do if my mom tried to talk to me about that. Die of embarrassment, I think. But she never would, so I think I'm safe."

"Where _did_ you get your information about sex, if not from your parents?" asked Tina.

"Mostly from friends. One time I forged my mom's signature for the in-class sex ed. But she found out later and freaked out, so I never dared again. I didn't even learn anything dangerous, just 'these are the seminal vesicles' and 'this felt sack is really a uterus and the baby attaches with velcro here for nine months.' It was really biology class, not sex ed."

She snorted. "Yeah, I definitely never learned anything in sex ed that I didn't already know. Nothing about feelings or masturbation or _anything_ useful. Like, they really need a step-by-step training course to go from learning your own body, then figuring out how to translate that into learning somebody _else's._"

Mike stared at her. "That would be... completely terrifying."

"Yeah, but better than trying to figure it out on your own? Seems like nobody wanted to tell me anything. I went to find it myself." She watched Artie's hand move from Mike's leg to hers. "So... you willing to take a hit for the team? Go through a little uncomfortable with your mom to get to... way more comfortable?"

Artie grimaced. "I'd rather just spring for a hotel."

"Aw, come on." She leaned in to wrap her arms around his neck, giving him her best pout. "This might be our only chance to do this before the end of the summer. Mike and I are going to be gone for four weeks working as counselors at Asian camp, and then we only have a little longer before school starts again."

Artie shrugged, not meeting her eyes. She glanced at Mike for support, but he just looked unhappy.

"Please?" she tried again. "For me?"

"Yeah, okay," Artie relented. Tina showered him with kisses, and he shielded himself from her assault, but he was laughing. "Okay, okay! You know I'm going to need a _lot_ of sympathy after my mom's done with me. Ice cream, video games, _and_ a David Mamet video marathon."

"I think we can handle that," Mike said. He shifted over until his shoulder brushed Artie's, then kissed him - with less vigor than Tina had, but no less passion. "It's going to be hard, being away from you."

"Come on, guys. We can handle four weeks."

Artie sounded so reasonable, but when Tina thought about spending those four weeks apart, she wasn't excited about Asian camp anymore. All she felt was anxious and depressed. She slid her arms around Artie's chest and hung on tight, feeling his hand stroking her back, Mike's cheek against her back.

"We've got a few more days," he murmured. "We can do whatever you want until then."

That comment from Mike was the main reason she felt confident saying "yes, definitely!" when Kurt invited the three of them over to the Hudmel house for dinner. He looked surprised at her response.

"Shouldn't you check with Artie and Mike first?"

"I think I can persuade them," she said.

But it was her turn to be surprised when Mike was enthusiastic about the idea. Artie was more skeptical.

"What, you mean, like, a... triple date?"

"Or like six friends hanging out with free food," she suggested. That put him a better mood. Okay, maybe Kurt had mentioned something about _a date with our only other triad friends,_ which made her feel all warm inside, but if Artie would rather focus on the grub, it was all the same to her.

The three of them had taken to spending most of their time at Artie's house, but sometimes they ended up at Tina's. That evening, after Artie's mother came to pick him up, Mike stayed for a few minutes before heading home on his bike. The way he hugged her seemed particularly desperate, and they clung to each other for a long time before he spoke.

"Do you think Artie's okay?"

"I think so," she said. Mike sighed, and she kissed him, petting his chest.

"I don't like the idea of leaving him either," he said, looking uneasy. "Is that totally weird? I mean, I get to be with you for four weeks. That should be good enough, right?"

"Would it be good enough if you stayed home to be with Artie while I went to camp?" She waited for his response, but she knew what it would be. He shook his head. "It's not weird, Mike."

"Maybe it'll be good for us, to be together, just the two of us?" Mike sounded more hopeful than certain. She smiled at him, then kissed him again, and pressed him away firmly.

"Come to Artie's tomorrow when you get up," she said. "We've got a date with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and all the Mamet we can cram into one day."

When Mike had gone and Tina turned back around, her mother was standing there in the hallway, watching her. She gestured for Tina to follow her into the kitchen.

"Am I in trouble or something?" Tina asked. "You don't look particularly happy with me."

"No, honey. I'm not mad. I'm just... a little concerned about what you and your... Artie and Mike are doing."

She glared at her mother. "They're my boyfriends."

"Okay, yes. Your boyfriends. Believe me, if it were just you and Artie spending this much time together, or just you and Mike, I'd be having the same talk with you." Her mom glared back. It was familiar, and not worrisome to Tina; her mom was a strong, powerful woman, too, and she wasn't afraid of that. "You do understand the scariest thing I can think of happening to you is you getting pregnant in high school?"

Tina couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Worse than me getting shot, or injecting myself with drugs, or -"

"Worse than anything that's likely to happen to you. Tina, I trust you, you know that. And this has nothing to do with how much I trust you. It has to do with how much I trust a form of birth control that only has an 85% effectiveness rating." She reached out and took Tina's hand. "Are the three of you having sex?"

"You really mean, are they putting their penises inside my -"

"Yes," her mother interjected, looking weary. "_Yes,_ that's what I mean."

"Not yet. But I want to, and I think they do too. I'm hoping I can talk them into it."

Her mother sighed. "Okay. Then I think we're going to make an appointment to see Dr. Jennings to look at additional forms of birth control. For my own peace of mind, as well as your own." The glare returned. "But that does _not_ mean you stop using condoms, young lady."

"Mom, neither Artie nor Mike have had intercourse with anybody else. And I trust them to tell me the truth." But she stopped arguing long enough to hug her mom. "Thank you. Does that mean I could invite Mike and Artie to spend the night?"

She laughed. "Ohh, don't push your luck. Your father would never go along with that, not under his roof. As it is, I'm going to ask you not to tell him about whatever kind of sex you're having already until I get a chance to tell him about whatever additional birth control you choose."

"Me, talk to Daddy about sex?" Tina made a face. "Yeah, like that's going to happen."


	12. at the HudsonHummel's

_Chapter 12: at the Hudson-Hummel's_

Mike was the first one in the door when they arrived at the Hudmel's, handing Kurt the bag of gourmet potato chips. He smiled, hoping he didn't look too anxious. "Thanks for having us over, Kurt."

"It's just the six of us tonight," Kurt said, hugging him. "My father and Carole took an evening for themselves." He helped Tina bring Artie's chair over the front step into the foyer. "Puck's out back, ready to put the steaks on the grill. Salmon for me and Tina, red meat for the rest of you Neanderthals. Except Neanderthals were omnivorous and primarily gathered plant foods, so I probably should stop using that remark."

Finn had already made room in front of the television for Artie's chair, and Tina was talking to Kurt, so Mike didn't feel too bad mumbling something about helping Puck with the grilling and slipping out the back door.

Puck waved his tongs at Mike as he approached, poking through the coals and setting the squeaky-clean grill back in place. "Mike, my man. Come appreciate my efforts to satisfy both my need for actual fire while grilling and Kurt's expectations for a spotless cooking surface. I spent forty-five freaking minutes scrubbing this thing."

Mike watched Puck arrange the meat on the grill for a good thirty seconds before blurting, "I need some advice."

Puck raised an eyebrow. "You dissed the one I gave you about bringing a condom on your first date with Artie. I'm assuming it ain't about that."

"Uh... no." He avoided Puck's curious gaze. "I think I have that covered now. This is more relationshippy than that."

"Yeah?" Puck smiled at him. "You guys getting serious?"

Mike shrugged. "It feels serious. This whole summer feels like a big deal, for a lot of reasons. And now Tina and I are going away to Asian camp, and leaving Artie at home, and it..." He sagged onto the edge of the deck. "It's a lot harder than I expected."

Puck turned the pieces of steak over with the tongs. "Spending a summer away from Kurt would totally suck."

"But I thought, since Kurt and Finn are living together, and you're at your house, I thought you might get it? Like, how do you handle one person being away without them feeling abandoned?" He gritted his teeth. "I hate the idea of Artie dealing with that, all by himself."

Puck sat beside him, looking unusually placid in his wifebeater and apron. "You're thinking like it's all bad, being apart. But that absence-makes-the-heart-grow whatever business, that's totally true. Finn and Kurt, they get their cuddle time, and then I show up and the party gets started all over again."

Mike nodded. "I get that. I'm just thinking about what it's like, here, in town, when two of us are together. It's okay, but..." He looked at Puck, feeling helpless.

"Okay, look. You're all going to be all by yourself at some point. Yes, when I've maxxed out my sleepover allowance, it sucks. But next year Kurt's going to be alone on cheerleading excursions, and me and Finn will have each other. And I can't think of an example, but I'm sure Finn's got some alone times too. Right now you're thinking about poor Artie, he's not gonna have you two for all of July. But unless you're dropping the Titans, practice is pretty much daily in August. I heard we're getting a new coach, a ballbuster, not completely useless like Tanaka. So if you fuck off home because your blisters are bleeding, Artie and Tina probably aren't going to just pine for you. They'll hang out together and bang. You can't think in terms of 'oh, the poor lonely one.' You gotta think that life happens."

Mike watched Puck lift the steaks off the grill, dripping with juices, onto the paper towel-covered plate, and replace the spaces over the coals with salmon steaks. "Won't he be jealous?"

"Artie? Jealous?" Puck considered that. "I guess he could be. What about you? Would you be jealous if Artie -"

"No." Mike closed his eyes, resting his head on his arms. "No. I'd be fine with it."

"Come on, Chang," Puck encouraged gently. "This is relationship 101 stuff. Call him when you have a spare five minutes. Tell him about how much camp food sucks dick, and you'd rather be having, I dunno, whatever the fuck you've eaten with him on a date. Send him a card signed by all of your little kids, and say that they're witnesses to your hair-pulling, clothes-rending pining. For fucksakes, send him dick pics and cunt pics on your phone." He grinned. "I'm sure Finn and Kurt have totally awesome sex without me, but even they wouldn't forget about me while they're doing it. I get as full a report as I want, later."

Mike imagined Tina describing, in detail, what Artie was doing to her, and shivered. He wasn't sure if he could handle it.

Puck hauled himself to his feet, setting the tongs down and picking up the plate of meat. He gave Mike an encouraging thump on the shoulder.

"Just figure out whether or not he hates chat speak before you start. Nothing kills it more than someone grammar-policing your dirty texts."

* * *

Tina looked out the window to where Puck and Mike were just barely visible. She was nearly positive they were discussing the summer camp situation. It was on Mike's mind just as much as it was on hers. She shifted in her seat for the next section of the game, then stood up at the commercial.

"Kurt, I bought these crystals. They're for manicures, but I was thinking of making myself a pair of shoes like you had for Gaga week. Did you keep those? I'd love to take an inspirational look."

Kurt looked at her for a moment before nodding. "Of course I kept them. They're classic pieces. One day I'll be concluding my fifth Broadway show and some museum will beg me for a historical piece of Hummelism."

"I'm sure that will totally happen, dude," Finn said, smiling earnestly. It made Tina smile. Divas like Kurt and Mercedes and Rachel needed guys like Finn, guys who'd believe they could do anything. Mike had a little of that, she thought.

"Could you come with me? Show me where they are?"

"My wardrobe is hardly unorganised, darling. But sure. I'd love to see that look in your eye when my fashion expertise hits and leaves it's mark on your soul."

"You can be my muse, not my God," Tina retorted. That Kurt had an impeccable look wasn't up for debate. He just didn't wear half as much black as he could.

Kurt waited until they were mostly down the stairs to his and Finn's shared suite to stop and turn halfway to look at her. "Tina Cohen-Chang, what exactly is this about? Because I know it's not about my Gaga shoes, you know as well as I do how much of a pain in the ass those stupid shoes were. No one would ever want to replicate the agony those caused me. Do we even need to be down here?"

"If you'd rather have a talk upstairs in the bathroom, fine. But Mike and Puck took outside, and there are only so many rooms in your house."

"Okay? Are the three of you having problems already? Well, that's fine. Relationships are difficult. It took Puck and me months to figure out what we were doing, and that was without factoring in Finn."

She sighed. "It's not so much a _problem_, it's more -" She cut herself off to gesture at the room's sole bed. Apparently Mr Hummel and Ms Hudson weren't even pretending to believe their sons weren't humping all night long. "Are there any wet spots I should know about before I sit down?"

Kurt scoffed. "As if I wouldn't demand clean sheets. Puck's mom and sister even got Finn a set for his birthday."

Tina accepted this anecdote as truth and sat on the bed. "It's not a problem, really. Well, sort of. Basically Mike and I both made a commitment to be Asian camp counsellors before we had any idea we would have summer plans. Like, I accepted the reinvite before I was even dating Artie. We can't drop out now, but... that means we're leaving Artie alone. For all of July, practically. We don't know what to do."

"Have you talked about it?"

She ran her hand over his bedspread, feeling discouraged. "We've _tried._ Artie won't talk about it. I think he's too upset to. Like, he's trying to be stoic, but he knows if he says too much he's break down, freak out."

"Yeah, Puck can get like that sometimes." Kurt shrugged. "To be fair, so can I. But I don't think Puck and Finn's methods for me will work for Artie."

Tina gave a short laugh. "We haven't even fourth base fucked yet. I don't think blindfolds and handcuffs are in the cards quite yet."

"I know that. I just said that." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"So what do you do? When it's Puck having a problem that he doesn't want to talk about?"

"I know this isn't what you'll want to hear, but honestly? Leaving him alone tends to do wonders. He gets into these responsibility funks, where it's like, if he doesn't have control of the situation, the world is going to end. Sometimes he just needs time to stew in _not_ taking care of me or Finn or Brittany or Santana or Matt or his sister."

"So you think I should just leave Artie alone?"

"Well, I'm not saying he and Puck are the same person."

"They're really not," Tina agreed. "Not that one's better than the other."

"Actually, Puck is," Kurt smiled, momentarily dreamy.

"Unless Artie is," Tina fought back playfully.

"Look, didn't you tell me that Artie and his mom do this whole wise yenta routine? So maybe just because he's not talking out his impending loneliness with you or Mike doesn't mean he's not talking about it. Maybe it's easier with her, since she won't get defensive like you two might."

He did have a point. "Okay, fine, I won't nag him."

"Hey, don't do it on my account," Kurt protested, but she shook her head.

"No, no, you're probably right. Artie's great, but he kind of plans the way he shows his feelings and gestures, rather than following instincts. He's probably talking this out with someone who will put a drink in his hand and make him shut up and think it out."

"Yes. I'm sure everything will work out." Kurt smiled, but TIna still hesitated.

"Just do me a favour?"

"If I can. What?"

"While I'm gone...could you check up on him a few times? Like, I don't know, invite him out glove shopping or something?"

Kurt gathered up her hands. "I solemnly swear on my couture purchasing savings account - and trust me, that's a lot more emotionally binding than swearing on a bible - that I will see your lonesome boyfriend at least once a week while you're out teaching eight year olds how to macrame and canoe. Or is Asian camp not like multicultural camp?"

"Most of the kids have cellphones with Python developer apps? But other than that, it's basically normal, I think."

"Do you want me to actually do your nails, so we can appear to have been gone for a reason other than gossiping."

She hugged him hard. "Yeah. I mean God knows Mike wasn't subtle. We could at least attempt to fool them."

* * *

Artie glanced over his shoulder at the empty room behind them. "We've been ditched, man."

"Not such a bad thing when you're the one left with the tv." Finn thumbed the remote, turning the volume down on the Cleveland Indians scoring their third run, and faced Artie. "What's going on?"

"Hell if I know." But that wasn't quite true, and Artie figured Finn deserved a more honest answer than that. After a healthy pause, he added, "Mike and Tina are heading off next week for Asian camp."

Finn nodded. "I heard Mike talking about that. You okay?"

"You know, that's the thing. I'm not sure why they're making such a big deal about it." He scooped up a handful of chips from the bowl sitting beside them on the couch. "Why can't they chill out? It's only a month. I'm not going off to war or anything."

Finn thought about it. "Maybe they think you feel that way now, but that you'll get sadder once they leave? And then they're gone, so they're setting up contingencies or whatever now?"

Artie nodded, thinking. "Okay. I can see that. Mike's sort of a silent worrier. But still, worst case scenario is that I get lonely. We're not living during the eighties classic camp genre. There are cellphones. I could just call."

"Sounds reasonable."

"Yeah, and honestly, I could use a little break. Being in a relationship is a lot of work, and being in _two..._ I mean, don't you guys sometimes just want to chill out with _Left 4 Dead_ and a can of Coke and not talk to each other for a few hours?"

"I don't think Kurt ever feels that way, exactly," Finn said. "But he knows me and Puck like to do stuff he doesn't, and he's okay with that. But I know what you mean; summer's a pretty intense time to be doing nothing but hanging out with your girlfriend and her boyfriend."

"He's my boyfriend, too," Artie said automatically. "If there was any competition, which there isn't, I'd say me and Mike are in the running for hottest couple among the three of us."

"Yeah? That's cool." Finn grinned. "And there's really no comparison when it comes to us. Puck and Kurt are the hottest for sure."

It made Artie grin, too, but he thought about what Finn had said, and what he hadn't said.

"You're really in love with them?" he asked at last. Finn nodded, and Artie nodded back. "I don't think I am. In love with Tina or Mike, I mean. They're both awesome, and the sex is great, and I'm happy to see them together. But it isn't... what I see with the three of you guys."

Finn was watching Mike and Puck out the back window, approaching with the plate of steaks. His face had softened into a soft smile. "To tell you the truth, Artie? I don't think anybody has what the three of us have. But that doesn't mean that what you have isn't worth it. Only you can decide that."

Mike slid the back door open while Puck paraded ahead of him, bearing the steaming platter. "Come on, Hummel," he shouted. "You'd better come eat my meat while it's hot."

Tina was laughing, more at Kurt's expression than at Puck's comment, as they walked up the basement stairs. "Really," Kurt said, glaring at Puck. Puck waggled his eyebrows at him, completely uncowed. Finn brought out bottles of root beer from the kitchen, obviously trying to run interference, but it wasn't cutting the tension between Puck and Kurt.

"Come _on,_ guys," Artie said mildly, shaking his head. "At this rate, we're going to have to leave early just to clear the space for you to do the nasty."

The steak was excellent, and Tina and Kurt both seemed to be enjoying their salmon. Mike looked more pensive than usual, but when Artie nudged him with his elbow, he touched Artie's sleeve with one hand, and after that seemed more calm.

"So," said TIna brightly, spearing a piece of cauliflower _au gratin,_ "tell me this, from the point of view of one who's experienced in the ways of triads: when you're trying something new, how do you pick who gets to do what to whom first?"

The movement at the table paused for several heartbeats. Artie looked back and forth between Kurt and Mike, who were blushing, and Finn, who was grinning, and Puck, who was taking another bite of steak and ignoring Tina.

"Maybe I'm not the one to ask, since I followed later in the relationship," Finn said. "But I'm pretty sure it was luck. As in, whoever happened to be touching me. And we've got the whole other dynamic that, um... I don't think you guys have?"

Artie was pretty sure that dynamic was _we do what Puck says and we like it,_ but he wasn't going to ask for clarification. "Yeah, I don't think that's quite the same for us," he agreed.

Tina was being completely casual about the whole thing, which both bemused and endeared Artie. "I'm definitely not holding this experience up as the end-all or be-all of sex," she said. "Or trying to minimize what we've already done. What we're already doing. Because it's fantastic. Just, in this case, I'm the only one with a vagina, so I feel a little unfair being the one to pick who goes first."

Puck's eyebrows went up. "And who says having one of those means you're the only one who gets to be fucked?" he drawled.

Artie felt a rush of sudden heat as he watched Tina pause, stricken. "Oh - I didn't - I mean, I guess I thought -" She looked over at Mike, who was blushing even more furiously than Artie suspected he was. "Um... maybe we should be having this conversation in private?"

"Seriously," Puck went on, waving his fork, "Tina could just as easily be the one doing the fucking."

"Whoa." Mike's reaction sounded like it had slipped out. He didn't sound scared, more startled and awed. "I really hadn't thought about that."

"Toys are kind of handy," Finn added. "And awesome."

Once dinner had run its course, it was clear that all three of them had things to talk about. When Tina suggested to Kurt that it was time for them to head home, neither Puck nor Finn nor Kurt looked particularly broken up about that.

"You weren't kidding about the three of them going to bed early," Mike murmured, helping Artie down the porch steps to the van. "I'm surprised they even let us get to the door before starting to make out."

"Can we go to Puck's dad's place and just talk?" Tina suggested, and Artie and Mike both nodded.

It was silent in the van on the way there. Mike didn't need a navigator this time. When he reached across to the passenger seat and held Tina's hand, she smiled at him before reaching back to take Artie's in her other hand.

"I'm kind of surprised at myself," she said quietly. "Like, I consider myself to be pretty feminist and egalitarian and politically aware and all that, and... I still didn't even think about intercourse with you guys in the same way that I thought about intercourse with me."

"Well, to be fair, it is your body," Artie pointed out. "You get to decide if it's as big a deal. And you might be as interested in having, um, anal sex as any of the two of us."

"Okay, sure," she said. "But I think I figured that, because I could maybe get pregnant doing it, it was a whole different ballgame? Everything else falls into the you-can't-get-pregnant category of sex."

"That sounds reasonable to me," Mike said. "Don't blame yourself for not thinking about everything in advance. I didn't even expect to -" He broke off.

Tina turned to him. "To what?"

"Um." He laughed shakily. "To - want that."

"Oh. _Oh."_ She bit her lip. "But you do?"

"Yeah? Maybe? I mean... it's hot. I think it is, anyway. You don't have to think it is." He turned off the pavement onto the gravel, switching on the van's high beams as they edged their way along the road to the turnoff. When they reached the threshold of Puck's dad's empty lot, Artie thought Mike looked more than a little anxious.

"I think," Artie said, "for me, anal sex is like... the way being with a guy was, before I did it? I don't know if I'll like it, but I'm open to trying it and finding out. But seriously, Mike, how many things have we tried that I didn't like?"

Mike grinned. The way he looked back over his shoulder at Artie, so gratefully, so hopefully, was a total turn-on, even if he didn't mean for it to be. "None, I think?"

"Exactly. So I think if I were in the moment, I'd be up for trying something you wanted. Because... it's you, and because you deserve a good first experience, whoever it's with. If you wanted Tina to do you, or me, either one has the potential to be really amazing."

"I love that idea," Tina breathed, smiling. "Of me getting to..." She smiled wickedly at Mike. "To pop your cherry."

"Oh." Mike sounded a little breathless himself. "Yeah. I like that too."

"Well, there you go," Artie said. "You figured it out."

Mike turned far enough around in the driver's seat to be able to reach back and take Artie's other hand. Now they all were holding hands, the three of them, and it was maybe a little awkward, but awkward had turned out not to matter much. "You wouldn't be upset that I got to do that with Tina, first, instead of you?"

"Weren't you listening to Finn? It just makes sense. I mean, she gets to be inside you, you get to be inside her, we all get to be inside whomever wants that. Who cares who's first? It's not about that at all."

"The man's making way too much sense," Tina said. "I think we need to get him horizontal PDQ, before I start having spontaneous orgasms or something."

They threw the blanket down in the back and helped Artie in first, then flanked him, stretching out diagonally so they could almost fit without their legs hanging out the back. Mike put his top leg over Artie and Tina snuggled him from behind, close enough so that they could have kissed over him if they'd wanted to. But they didn't. It was enough, being this way together, and hearing Tina's voice in his mind, calling him a _man._

"This is so amazing," Tina whispered.

Mike stroked her arm, nodding. "So... you really want to do that with me?"

Artie rested his lips on Mike's collarbone. "Are you asking me or Tina?"

"Um - Tina, I think? But really, I should ask both of you, because... " He took a breath. "Because I'd want both of you inside me."

Tina made a little strangled noise. "Okay, that's really hot."

Artie guessed they could both tell he agreed, without him having to say anything. He squirmed a little, not really looking to set up any kind of a rhythm, just feeling the pressure of his half-hard cock against Mike's thigh, thinking about Tina fucking Mike, about Mike riding him. He sighed.

"I think I want to? But, Mike, I don't know if that's enough for you to want to do it with me. I'm kind of a poor excuse for a gay guy."

"Hey." Mike gave him a little push on his shoulder. "Forget that. You don't have to say you're gay, or anything else. You get to want what you want."

"Good advice," Artie said, nudging him back playfully. "You might think about taking it."

Tina chuckled. "I think we can all get what we want. Now we just need the space. Because, forgive me, but I'm not all that enthusiastic about trying to figure out penetration in the back of a van."

Getting the space was Artie's job, he knew. He'd said he would do it, and he was willing to talk to his mom about most things. It wasn't as though she was likely to be upset at him for asking about it. But he was anxious all the same, all the way home, even after Mike and Tina converged on him in the back seat and kissed him until he was useless.

His mom met them at the door, smiling, and helped him into the house.

"How was dinner?" she asked.

"Fine."

A one-word answer was suspicious enough, apparently, for her to wheel him directly into the kitchen and set the blender down in front of him. He sighed.

"I'm full."

She handed him an overripe mango and a knife, then crossed her arms and regarded him sourly. "You just have to make the damn thing; you don't have to drink it."

She left him alone for another five minutes while he wrestled with cutting the mango into chunk-sized bits, squeezing every bit of pulp off of the skin and dumping it into the blender, along with a healthy serving of orange juice. His mom stood at the counter, chopping greens into a bowl.

"So are you going to tell me, or do I need to wheedle it out of you?"

He nibbled on the edge of the mango pit, avoiding her eyes. "This might be one of those don't-kill-the-messenger moments."

"And who are you messenging from?"

"Is that even a word?"

"Artie."

He threw the pit onto the table. "Mom, my boyfriend and my girlfriend and I want to sleep in the same bed together so we can have complicated three-person intercourse. Is that clear enough for you?"

His mom sat down across from him, directly in his line of sight. There was no avoiding her when she did that. "Artie, are you listening to yourself? This doesn't sound like a boy who's _happy_ with the choices he's making."

_Tina called me a man,_ he thought, looking at the morass in the blender. _Not a boy._ But he shrugged reluctantly and said, "I guess not."

"So, imagine how a mother might feel when her son comes to her and asks to have some privacy for intimate time, but he doesn't sound completely enthusiastic about it?" She stared pointedly at him as he fiddled with his wheels. "I give you the space to make your own decisions. It's up to you to make them good ones. So tell me why this one isn't making you happy as a clam?"

"Because." He stopped, started again. "Because they're going away for four weeks."

Her eyes softened. "And that's getting to you?"

"No! That's the problem. It's _not."_ He threw up his hands. "I mean, is there something wrong with me because I'm not freaking out about them being gone for a whole month?"

"Everybody needs a little freedom. Some of us more than others. There's more than one reason why I never remarried." She shook her head, dumping the greens into the blender, adding the chopped ginger and putting a firm hand on top while she switched it on. "Don't feel bad for needing what you need."

It was close enough to what Mike had said to make him pause and struggle to maintain control.

"God, Mom," he whispered. "I don't even know what I need."

She didn't hug him, because they didn't really do that, but she put a hand on his shoulder and waited for him to calm down.

"On the contrary, I think you know that pretty well," she said. "But I can also hear you asking for support. So here's my executive decision, and you can blame it on me, or you can talk to them about how you really feel, or whatever feels best. I'm going to give the three of you carte blanche to spend the night here - _after_ Tina and Mike get back from camp. Until then, I'm requiring you take a little space for yourself. Because you're enough like me that I think I can play the mother-knows-best card."

Artie accepted the glass of smoothie without complaint, and drank the whole thing, even having seen the green things that had gone into it. She watched him do it, looking a little impatient.

"You have anything to say to that?"

He shrugged again. "I guess... sometimes mother really does."

Her smile was almost better than a hug. She pushed her chair away from the table and walked away, leaving him to clean up the blender. "Get to bed, okay?"

"Don't push it," he called after her.


	13. saying goodbye

_Chapter 13: Mike_

Mike woke up the next morning hard. This wasn't unusual, considering he was seventeen. Neither were the fantasies in his mind, which covered ground ranging across most of the Kinsey scale and highlighting several embarrassing points along the way. What was unusual was the first thought in his mind when he woke, which was: _I'm going to lose my virginity tonight. _

It wasn't scary, exactly, but it felt like a lot, maybe more than he could handle on his own. He wondered if it would feel different if he were going to be doing it with one other person instead of two. That would almost be more stressful, to be the only focal point.

Mike reached for his phone, sending a group text to Artie and Tina. _Freaking out a little._

_Come over,_ Artie sent back immediately, followed by Tina's _I'll meet you at your house._

He showered quickly and made himself a sandwich. If anything, he was a stress non-eater, but Mike knew if he didn't have something in his stomach, he'd end up feeling sick later. He waited on the porch, his legs too long to dangle off the edge, taking reluctant bites until Tina arrived on her bike.

She hopped off, approaching him with concern, but she didn't ask any questions; she just sat down beside him, slid her arms around his waist and hugged him tight, resting her head on his chest.

"You're not worried about being seen with me?" he asked.

She gave him a squeeze. "Why would I be? I've never been afraid of that before. We've gone out enough times, the three of us."

"Yeah, the _three_ of us. Not you and me." He sighed, knowing he sounded more unhappy than he had a right to be, with Tina in his arms. "People are going to talk. They're going to say we're cheating on Artie with each other."

"And they'd be wrong," she insisted. She pulled back to stare at him. "Do you care so much what other people think?"

He huffed, feeling his anxiety spike. "Well... _yeah,_ I do! I mean, not about us, about the three of us, but... I don't want anybody to think I'm being dishonorable. The two of you were together first."

"What does that matter? Jesus, Mike, what's going on?" She put her hands on his shoulders. "Is this about what we talked about last night?"

"I don't know. I don't know." He let himself fall back into her arms, Tina doing all the holding this time. When she kissed his cheek, he felt his throat tighten. "I just... I can't talk about this here. Please, can we go over to Artie's?"

He followed her on his bike, the route now as familiar as the one he used to take to school every morning. _A month without him,_ he thought, and had to scrub his eyes with his forearm to be able to keep pedaling. _Without the three of us._

Artie's mom met them at the door, but as usual, her presence there remained quietly in the background, staying just long enough to tell them to help themselves to the blueberries in the refrigerator. They stopped in the kitchen - because, well, blueberries - then converged on the family room, where Artie was seated on the couch. He gave them both a little smile.

"You taught me well enough about relationships for me to know I'm supposed to snuggle you now," he said to Mike.

That was it for Mike. He just sank down on the couch, giving up trying to be strong or to understand what was happening, and started to cry.

Tina sat down with him, as close as she could be, putting her arms around him from behind while Artie held him from the front. He felt himself shaking, and sniffed, reaching for the box of tissues on the coffee table.

"I have no idea what to say," he said. "I feel so stupid."

"Zero words about being stupid, Mr. 2200-on-the-SAT," Tina told him, running a hand over his hair.

He had to grin. "That's only because I messed up on the verbal."

"Perfectionist," Artie said. "And by that I mean I hate you, and by that I mean I don't hate you at all, because you're amazing."

"_You're_ amazing," Mike said, and he meant it. How had he come to mean that so much in one summer? He pulled Artie against him again, kissing him this time, trying to communicate with his actions if not his words that he _meant it._ Artie was patient and solid and calm where Mike was losing his shit, but he didn't feel judged. He just felt - loved.

"I don't deserve this," Mike tried, but that wasn't quite what he meant either. Being with the two of them, it felt too good for that. He buried his head deeper in Artie's arms and concentrated on the rise and fall of Tina's chest along his back.

"You get to have what you want," said Tina. Her hands on his shoulders felt comforting enough that he could be a little whiny.

"No, I _don't._ I don't get to have that, because - because we're leaving."

"For a month," Artie said. "A month isn't going to kill you."

That was true, of course, and the fact that it didn't feel like nothing was irrelevant. Mike rested his cheek on Artie's shoulder, turning words over and over in his mind until he'd gathered the courage to say them out loud.

"I think I'm freaking out because I really want this. This, three people together, I never... before Puck and Kurt and Finn did it, it seemed like, okay, it's a little weird, but whatever, Puck's never followed anybody else's rules before. And I know this was supposed to be just pretend, but when it... wasn't anymore, I realized how much I don't want this to be over in the fall."

"It doesn't have to be." Tina assured him.

Artie put his hand on Mike's head. "Nobody gave us any shit in the spring when we were supposedly together. I think it'd be fine."

"Yeah, you really think it looks the same, now? Even Finn still thought you and me were still hanging out together with our mutual girlfriend. But it's not like that. I'm not a badass like Puck. People are going to -" He broke off, shaking his head.

"Because of you and me?" Artie asked. "Because I'm a guy? I hope you know by now I don't care about that. I mean, apparently that matters a lot less than I thought it did."

Mike stayed quiet, although what Artie was saying was somewhat reassuring. Finally Artie sat back, looking soberly at both of them.

"Look. This summer thing, I think you're taking it way too hard, but who am I to tell you what to feel, so all I can say is let's plan on a lot of phone calls and texts? You guys will be together, and that's fine."

Tina nodded, and Mike nodded too. Artie sighed and looked away.

"I talked to my mom. She said we can't spend the night together until you guys get back from camp. But, honestly? I don't think I'm ready anyway."

"Oh," Tina said. She glanced at Mike uneasily, then back to Artie. "You don't want to?"

"It's not that. I do want to. But I think part of me's still not sure if it's a good idea. And I think I should be really, really into this before I say yeah, let's do it? Mike, you know what I mean?"

Mike took a deep breath, shook by the simultaneous relief and disappointment he felt, and sat back on the couch. "I think I do."

Tina's pout was damn cute, though Mike had enough self-preservation not to say anything about it. "Well, that sucks, but... okay, it makes sense. Why didn't you say something before?"

"I don't think I knew what I was thinking. I still don't. It's complicated." Artie reached over and took Tina's hand. "I do know I don't regret any of this. Whether we helped Kurt and Puck and Finn or not, this summer has been so incredible." He smiled shyly. "Not just the sex."

"No," Tina agreed. "Although can I just say, I was really looking forward to that?"

"I know. I'm sorry. I knew this was going to disappoint you."

That made her reach out and take his hand. "Baby, no. If you're not ready, it wouldn't feel right anyway. Three people deciding anything together, that's going to take some time. So maybe it'll be good for us to have a month apart to think about it."

"Maybe," said Mike, then coughed, his cheeks burning. "Maybe it'll give me enough time to get ready for you guys to fuck me."

Tina groaned quietly, leaning in to hug them both. "Trust me, I'll be spending plenty of time thinking about _that_ when I'm alone."

They spent the rest of the morning on the couch, and a good part of the afternoon, swapping out DVDs and playing video game and making out. When Tina unzipped him and tucked her hand in his jeans, Mike didn't object in the least, and when Artie's hand joined her, he helped both of them tug his jeans down past his knees so he could spread his legs wider.

"You're damned flexible, Chang," Artie whispered, licking his ear while he jerked him slowly.

"You're going to be so beautiful, spread out underneath me," Tina continued on his other side. Her fingers drifted down to hold his balls, then to brush against his perineum. Mike suppressed his whimpers, pulling his knees up higher, and she caught her breath. "Oh - wow. Do you want me to...?"

"Just - a little," he begged, "careful, I don't know if - _oh god."_

He watched Tina lick her fingers, getting them wet with her spit, before returning them to press gently against his hole. All he could do was muffle his noises and try to relax as she slid inside him.

Artie watched him curiously. "You like that?"

The pressure felt a little uncomfortable, but as Artie stroked him faster, he could feel the potential there for it to be incredible. He hesitated, then whispered, "Fuck me."

"Oh," said Tina, and watched, eyes wide, as she made a brief, rapid in-out-in motion with her finger. Mike tensed, he couldn't help it, and she grimaced. "Does that -?"

"Again," he breathed, and this time when she did it, he pushed back against her fingers, encouraging the thrust to go deeper, faster. "Yes - yes oh yes yes - "

"Hot," Artie muttered, his hand switching to a light, three-fingered grip along the shaft of Mike's cock. Mike liked that at the end, just before he came, and that made Mike feel so _good_, that Artie knew that about him, had paid attention and had figured it out without Mike saying one word about it, he felt like he might cry.

Instead, he lost himself to the sensations of Tina's fingers and Artie's hand, and came in rapid pulses, as silently as he could manage. Artie's breath accelerated, watching Mike spill over his fist, but he stayed with it until Mike was limp and comatose on the couch.

"Wow," Tina said, looking delighted. "That was _awesome."_ Then she hesitated, reaching for a tissue. "I should probably go wash my hands. I'll bring a washcloth."

Mike struggled back into his jeans while Tina was in the bathroom, running an idle thumb along Artie's erection through his pants. "You thought that was hot?"

"Not so different from giving Tina my fingers, or you doing that to her," he said. "So, yeah. Hot. I have no objections to doing you that way, when we're all ready for it." He strained against Mike's hand, closing his eyes. "You know I don't have any problem with the two of you being alone together, while you're gone."

"Yeah?" The thought was a little upsetting, but Mike tried to take it in the spirit it was offered. "That's not what Tina said she wanted, back at the beginning of the summer. I think it's possible we might get desperate enough to go for that, but... it wouldn't be the same."

"You'd have one too few dicks, for one." Artie was smiling, but his face looked a little sad. "You think you'd be happier if you didn't go to camp at all?"

Mike shook his head. "I can't do that. It'd be letting down my parents. I'm just going to have to live with it. You're right, I know, it's not the end of the world." He laughed unhappily, avoiding Artie's gaze. "Sorry, man. This isn't exactly the sexiest conversation."

"Hey. No. You know I was never looking for fake anything from you, Mike." Artie's eyes were way too kind. "Even when it was a pretend relationship."

"It's not that anymore, is it?" Mike felt a little silly, begging like that, but Artie just took his hand and pressed his palm over his hard cock.

"Does this feel pretend to you?"

Mike glanced over the edge of the couch, but Artie's mom had so far never interrupted them. He kissed Artie, giving him plenty of tongue, and when Artie's noises became rhythmic and urgent, he whispered into his ear, "I want to suck you."

"God, yeah," Artie whimpered. Mike slithered down to kneel between his legs, pressing his mouth to Artie's crotch. The way Artie fumbled impatiently with his fly, his breathing raspy, was such a turn-on: knowing that Artie wanted _his_ mouth, _his_ hands like that.

"You know," came Tina's voice, "this might be a little TMI, but my fingers were actually pretty clean - oh, hello." She paused by the arm of the couch, sounding amused and anticipatory. "Wow. I thought what we'd just done was the hottest thing yet, but I think this might actually exceed that."

"I didn't ask him, I swear," Artie gasped, "he just offered, and I - god, Mike, your _mouth."_ Mike felt Artie's hands tighten in the fabric of his shirt, making fists on his shoulders.

"Baby, I don't think you need to apologize for wanting him to give you an awesome blowjob. This one'll have to last you for a month."

She moved around to sit beside Artie on the couch, her hands busy on his body. Mike couldn't see all the details of what she was doing, but Artie sounded like he was appreciating all of them.

He warned Mike with a muttered, "Gonna come," but Mike wasn't interested in stopping in the middle of things. It made him sort of proud to be able to elicit that amazed, grateful sound from Artie.

When Artie had come down from his orgasm, Mike laid his cheek on Artie's knee and breathed in the feeling for several long moments. Tina leaned her head on Artie's shoulder, resting her hand on Mike's head. "Watching the two of you together... not just the sexy parts - although I'll miss that plenty, don't get me wrong - but it just feels so good, knowing you want each other like that."

"Definitely want," Artie agreed, his eyes closed.

"Definitely the sexy parts," Mike added, and they both cracked up.

Tina rolled her eyes. "Okay, _boys,_ who's the only one here who hasn't had a spectacular orgasm tonight? You've got fifteen minutes."

Artie gave Mike a wicked grin. "I bet we can do it in ten."

* * *

_The birds and the bees they are wise to the lies  
__So they took to the trees and took to the skies  
__On top of the chain and safe from the rain  
__Whatcha' know about the ways of the underside?  
__What do you know?_

_Bought a hot shot gat from a north end guinea  
__Cause they're hip to the bull and hip to the lies  
__Ante up with your ass cause you ain't got a penny  
__Whatcha' know about the ways on the underside?  
__What do you know?_

_Bought a hot shot gat from a north end guinea  
__Ante up with your ass cause you ain't got a penny  
__Droppin bombs from above cut ya all down to size  
__Cause they're hip to the bull and they're hip to the lies  
__What do you know?_

_Yeah, the streets rose in two perfect waves in the night  
__Crashes on my left, and one on my right  
__It's all fire and brimstone baby, so let's go outside  
__It's all fire and brimstone baby, I got my brand new pistol baby  
__What do you know?_

_Bought a hot shot gat from a north end guinea  
__Ante up with your ass cause you ain't got a penny  
__Droppin bombs from above cut you all down to size  
__Cause they're hip to the bull and they're hip to the lies  
__And they're hip to the lies_

_Our turn to decide, who lives and who dies  
__Right in front of your eyes, it's time to get up  
__Our turn to decide, who lives and who dies  
__Now answer the lies it's time to get up  
_

_Our turn to decide, who lives and who dies  
__Whatcha' know about the ways on the underside?  
__What do you know?_

_- Puscifer, "The Mission"_


End file.
